[NEohioPAL]A Mike and Ike Satirical Review of the University of Akron's "A Midsummer Night's Dream"
Jeff Holland
rdoughnuts at yahoo.com
Thu Nov 7 15:15:11 PST 2002
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WARNING: THE FOLLOWING REVIEW HAS BEEN RATED PG-13 BY JUJU, THE LITTLE MONKEY THAT JUTS OUT OF MY FOREHEAD AND SINGS JERRY HERMAN TUNES TO ME WHEN I AM SAD AND LONELY--Jeff Holland
IKE: How the hell we supposed ta follow that up?
MIKE: I don't care. I'm leaving.
I: You ain't goin' anywhere, limey.
M: I can't do this now. It's too soon.
I: Face your pain. Grow from it.
M: My stomach lining is now the strength of one ply toilet tissue because of that show. I've grown enough, thank you.
I: Okay, what is the bug up your butt over this?
PAUSE
M: It's a one act.
I: Oh, for the love of--
M: Shakespeare is not supposed to be a one act!
I: At least start out with a valid criticism! This is nit picky.
M: All right, I understand that, not only did Shakespeare write some of the most beautiful language ever recorded, but he wrote a hell of a lot of it.
I: If Kenneth Branaugh's four and a half version of Hamlet taught us anything it's that we didn't need a four and a half hour version of Hamlet.
M: Yes, good ole Wills should have learned the value of time compression through editing, but not down to ninety minutes.
I: Why not?
M: Shakespearean theatre needs an intermission.
I: Why?
M: Because that's the way it's done!
I: Well, someone's being particularly British this mornin.' You're the one who's always bitchin' about too much conventional the-ater. There's one convention thrown right inta the wood chipper.
M: Did you even understand the plot?
I: Yeah, a coked up fairy makes everybody fall in love with everybody else, a chick sleeps with a donkey, and the Village People do a play.
M: Okay, I'm impressed.
I: Don't ask for specifics. When it comes to Shakespeare, I work best in broad generalities.
M: So how many different kinds of amphetomines do you think the noble Mr. Goodfellow was on?
I: Be nice.
M: Oh, coming from you that's really funny. Don't get me wrong. I liked him. He was just really . . . really . . . wired.
I: Kinda made ya wish I'd brought the tranquilizer gun, didn't it?
M: Oh, yes!
I: And that boy got inta some positions that I never want to see another human being attempt EVER!! It was funny, but scary as hell.
M: As was Bottom in the shiny golden underwear.
I: As is the whole concept of a chick sleeping with a donkey, even if it is bipedal and talks.
M: As was the Village People.
I: As was the Village People in the "Dreamgirls" costumes at the end of the show.
M: As was Lysander being played by J.R. Ewing.
I: As was the La-La song.
M: Oh, God, yes! I tried to forget they made it a musical.
I: I couldn't. I will forever be haunted by La-La's.
M: The songs aren't bad at all. The lyrics are Shakespeares and the music is either Beethoven or 70's mellow rock, so it's fun, but why do it?
I: Breaking convention.
M: Shut up.
I: Did ya think it was funny that Oberon, big burly manly man with the Han Solo thing goin' on, sang like Al Jarreau?
M: No, I thought it was funny watching you have the siezure during the La-La song.
I:(Shuddering) Too many La-La's.
M: The music was pretty.
I: TOO MANY LA-LA'S.
M: Good to know I wasn't the only one going through pain.
I: Yeah, but I like pain.
M: Didn't need to know that.
I: You're missin' the point. I didn't understand a single thing that was said during that show, the costumes were freaky, the disco lights were sending me to the astral plane, and for a comedy, it really didn't get funny until the end of the show.
M: Then why did you like it so much?
I: Cause it was weird, it was different, and I had a good time watching and occasionally making fun of it. This is not for purists, unless you're a purist with a sense of humor. Did you enjoy the show?
M: Well, I--
I: Did you have fun?
M: Well, I--
I: Is it not unlike most Shakespearean theatre you've seen?
M: That I will give you, but it's not-- The show isn't-- I did actually sort of like it.
I: Just too damn many la-la's.
M: And not enough acts.
PAUSE
I: Are we still on that?
M: I'm sorry but I had to urinate for the last half hour of the show.
I: Okay, we done here.
SPECIAL MESSAGE FROM IKE
Okay, we missed Rocky Horror (Grrr) so we're gonna try for another freaky musical. Hopefully, this saturday we gonna be at Lobo a Go Go. If not, we'll be either be drinking, watching the season one DVD set of Babylon 5, or in a Turkish prison.
---------------------------------
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U2 on LAUNCH - Exclusive medley & videos from Greatest Hits CD
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<P>WARNING: THE FOLLOWING REVIEW HAS BEEN RATED PG-13 BY JUJU, THE LITTLE MONKEY THAT JUTS OUT OF MY FOREHEAD AND SINGS JERRY HERMAN TUNES TO ME WHEN I AM SAD AND LONELY--Jeff Holland</P>
<P>IKE: How the hell we supposed ta follow <EM>that </EM>up?</P>
<P>MIKE: I don't care. I'm leaving.</P>
<P>I: You ain't goin' anywhere, limey.</P>
<P>M: I can't do this now. It's too soon.</P>
<P>I: Face your pain. Grow from it.</P>
<P>M: My stomach lining is now the strength of one ply toilet tissue because of that show. I've grown enough, thank you.</P>
<P>I: Okay, what is the bug up your butt over this?</P>
<P>PAUSE</P>
<P>M: It's a one act.</P>
<P>I: Oh, for the love of--</P>
<P>M: Shakespeare is not supposed to be a one act!</P>
<P>I: At least start out with a valid criticism! This is nit picky.</P>
<P>M: All right, I understand that, not only did Shakespeare write some of the most beautiful language ever recorded, but he wrote a hell of a lot of it.</P>
<P>I: If Kenneth Branaugh's four and a half version of Hamlet taught us anything it's that we didn't need a four and a half hour version of Hamlet.</P>
<P>M: Yes, good ole Wills should have learned the value of time compression through editing, but not down to ninety minutes.</P>
<P>I: Why not?</P>
<P>M: Shakespearean theatre needs an intermission.</P>
<P>I: Why?</P>
<P>M: Because that's the way it's done!</P>
<P>I: Well, someone's being particularly British this mornin.' You're the one who's always bitchin' about too much conventional the-ater. There's one convention thrown right inta the wood chipper.</P>
<P>M: Did you even understand the plot?</P>
<P>I: Yeah, a coked up fairy makes everybody fall in love with everybody else, a chick sleeps with a donkey, and the Village People do a play.</P>
<P>M: Okay, I'm impressed.</P>
<P>I: Don't ask for specifics. When it comes to Shakespeare, I work best in broad generalities.</P>
<P>M: So how many different kinds of amphetomines do you think the noble Mr. Goodfellow was on?</P>
<P>I: Be nice.</P>
<P>M: Oh, coming from you that's really funny. Don't get me wrong. I liked him. He was just really . . . really . . . wired.</P>
<P>I: Kinda made ya wish I'd brought the tranquilizer gun, didn't it?</P>
<P>M: Oh, yes!</P>
<P>I: And that boy got inta some positions that I never want to see another human being attempt EVER!! It was funny, but scary as hell.</P>
<P>M: As was Bottom in the shiny golden underwear.</P>
<P>I: As is the whole concept of a chick sleeping with a donkey, even if it is bipedal and talks.</P>
<P>M: As was the Village People.</P>
<P>I: As was the Village People in the "Dreamgirls" costumes at the end of the show.</P>
<P>M: As was Lysander being played by J.R. Ewing.</P>
<P>I: As was the La-La song.</P>
<P>M: Oh, God, yes! I tried to forget they made it a musical.</P>
<P>I: I couldn't. I will forever be haunted by La-La's.</P>
<P>M: The songs aren't bad at all. The lyrics are Shakespeares and the music is either Beethoven or 70's mellow rock, so it's fun, but why do it?</P>
<P>I: Breaking convention.</P>
<P>M: Shut up.</P>
<P>I: Did ya think it was funny that Oberon, big burly manly man with the Han Solo thing goin' on, sang like Al Jarreau?</P>
<P>M: No, I thought it was funny watching you have the siezure during the La-La song.</P>
<P>I:(Shuddering) Too many La-La's.</P>
<P>M: The music was pretty.</P>
<P>I: TOO MANY LA-LA'S.</P>
<P>M: Good to know I wasn't the only one going through pain.</P>
<P>I: Yeah, but I like pain.</P>
<P>M: Didn't need to know that.</P>
<P>I: You're missin' the point. I didn't understand a single thing that was said during that show, the costumes were freaky, the disco lights were sending me to the astral plane, and for a comedy, it really didn't get funny until the end of the show.</P>
<P>M: Then why did you like it so much?</P>
<P>I: Cause it was weird, it was different, and I had a good time watching and occasionally making fun of it. This is not for purists, unless you're a purist with a sense of humor. Did you enjoy the show?</P>
<P>M: Well, I--</P>
<P>I: Did you have fun?</P>
<P>M: Well, I--</P>
<P>I: Is it not unlike most Shakespearean theatre you've seen?</P>
<P>M: That I will give you, but it's not-- The show isn't-- I did actually sort of like it.</P>
<P>I: Just too damn many la-la's.</P>
<P>M: And not enough acts.</P>
<P>PAUSE</P>
<P>I: Are we still on that?</P>
<P>M: I'm sorry but I had to urinate for the last half hour of the show.</P>
<P>I: Okay, we done here.</P>
<P> </P>
<P>SPECIAL MESSAGE FROM IKE</P>
<P>Okay, we missed Rocky Horror (Grrr) so we're gonna try for another freaky musical. Hopefully, this saturday we gonna be at Lobo a Go Go. If not, we'll be either be drinking, watching the season one DVD set of Babylon 5, or in a Turkish prison.</P><p><br><hr size=1>Do you Yahoo!?<br>
<a href="http://rd.yahoo.com/launch/mailsig/*http://launch.yahoo.com/u2">U2 on LAUNCH</a> - Exclusive medley & videos from Greatest Hits CD
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