[NEohioPAL]Rave Review for Bad Epitaph's STATE OF SIEGE!

David Hansen pengo at davidhansen.org
Wed May 28 09:43:35 PDT 2003


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"Excellent acting!" - Mike & Ike

[NEohioPAL] DELETE NOW:  A Mike & Ike Satirical Review of CPT's "State of
Siege."

WARNING:  THE FOLLOWING REVIEW HAS A TERROR ALERT LEVEL OF ORANGE
 
IKE:  Hey, limey, gotta joke for ya.  How many French-Algerian philosophers
does it take to bore me into a coma?
 
MIKE:  We're going Les Miz again, aren't we?
 
I:  Oh, yeah.
 
M:  Oh, God.  
 
I:  Fasten yourselves in.  It's gonna be a bumpy ride.
 
M:  Production review?
 
I:  Production review.
 
M:  Excellent acting.
 
I:  Masks got annoyin' after awhile.  I was waitin' for people to die just
so they'd take the damn things off.
 
M:  I was waiting for them to die just because they were all annoying.
 
I:  Save it.
 
M:  Fine.  The set is extremely theatrical (Which is not necessarily a bad
thing) and can easily be sold intact to the next high school production of
"Kiss Me, Kate."
 
I:  The lights look cool in a freaked out Dario Argento kinda way, but the
system was apparently hooked up to a bug zapper, so it went just slightly
wobbly throughout the entire show, adding to the revulsion boilin' in my
soul waitin' ta spill out and engulf the earth in blackness and despair.
 
M:  Save it.
 
I:  Fine.
 
M:  Some of the movement of the piece was highly stylized, ranging in
effectiveness from very cool to silly enough to make John Cleese proud.
 
I:  And even I'll say it:  the actin' was great.
 
PAUSE
 
M:  Ready?
 
I:  Since intermission.
 
M:  Let's rock and roll.
 
MUTUAL DEEP BREATH
 
M:  Albert Camus may have been a brilliant political journalist and
philosopher, but as a playwrite he pretty much sucked a big weighty donkey
dong.  He may have had some extremely interesting and thought provoking
concepts but, if this play is any indication, he had a great deal of trouble
expressing them in dialogue that doesn't make you want to plunge chop sticks
into your eardrums.
 
I:  Imagine 1984 as written by Ed Wood.
 
M:  In addition to writing painfully bad dialogue--taking a cue from
Shakespeare--he writes quite a lot of it.
 
I:  I was waitin' for them to die just so they'd SHUT UP!!!!!
 
M:  So what we have is a bunch of characters you don't like, if for no other
reason than they talk way too much, talking way too much about some pretty
heavy issues.  
 
I:  Imagine Waiting for Godot as performed by Gilligan and the Skipper.
 
M:(Short pause) Ew.
 
I:  Exactly.
 
M:  Here's my major problem with the "play:"  Theatre is supposed to create
some kind of relationship between the cast and the audience.  That's what
makes it so different than cinema.  There's a connection you cannot get with
movies.  I didn't get that connection at all.  I felt like I was watching a
film, a very long one that told me exactly how I was supposed to think and
feel at all times even though that's exactly what it was preaching against.
 
I:  I think the only way you're gonna really enjoy this thing is if you know
before ya go in that you're about ta see a two hour, highly intellectual,
highly overwritten rant against the blind stupidity of the human race, and
you're cool with that.  If so, great!  Go, enjoy!  This thing's gonna make
ya cream your jeans.  If, on the other hand, you're just in the mood for a
fun night out,  avoid it like a Yahoo Serious movie.
 
M:  But the acting was quite good.
 
I:  Yeah, it was.
 
PAUSE
 
I:  God, I got the show stuck in my head now.  I think I need to watch A
Clockwork Orange again.

[NEohioPAL] DELETE NOW:  A Mike and Ike Satirical Correction

IKE:  What does it matter?  No one cares what we say anyway!!
 
MIKE:  No one cares what you say.  Get it right.
 
I:  Fine.  Whatever.  Just get this over with.  We got the finale of Buffy
to watch.
 
M:  It has come to our attention that there was an error in our review of
State of Siege.
 
I:  Can't we just blame Holland for this?  Always worked before.
 
M:  It was an error of omission, actually.  Though the show was performed at
CPT, it was produced by the Bad Epitaph Theatre Company, who just used CPT's
space.  We sincerely apologize for any confusion caused by this and regret
the omission.  But, honestly, after sitting through that show I'm surprised
we were able to remember our names.

BAD EPITAPH THEATER COMPANY PRESENTS
"STATE OF SIEGE" NOW THROUGH MAY 31
FINAL THREE PERFORMANCES!
For complete production information: http://www.badepitaph.org


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<HTML>
<HEAD>
<TITLE>Rave Review for Bad Epitaph's STATE OF SIEGE!</TITLE>
</HEAD>
<BODY>
<FONT COLOR=3D"#FF0000"><B>"Excellent acting!" - Mike & Ike<BR>
</B></FONT><B><BR>
[NEohioPAL] DELETE NOW:  A Mike & Ike Satirical Review of CPT's &q=
uot;State of Siege."<BR>
</B><FONT FACE=3D"Times"><BR>
</FONT><FONT FACE=3D"Arial"><B>WARNING:  THE FOLLOWING REVIEW HAS A TERR=
OR ALERT LEVEL OF ORANGE<BR>
</B></FONT> <BR>
<FONT FACE=3D"Arial">IKE:  Hey, limey, gotta joke for ya.  How many=
 French-Algerian philosophers does it take to bore me into a coma?<BR>
</FONT> <BR>
<FONT FACE=3D"Arial">MIKE:  We're going Les Miz again, aren't we?<BR>
</FONT> <BR>
<FONT FACE=3D"Arial">I:  Oh, yeah.<BR>
</FONT> <BR>
<FONT FACE=3D"Arial">M:  Oh, God.  <BR>
</FONT> <BR>
<FONT FACE=3D"Arial">I:  Fasten yourselves in.  It's gonna be a bum=
py ride.<BR>
</FONT> <BR>
<FONT FACE=3D"Arial">M:  Production review?<BR>
</FONT> <BR>
<FONT FACE=3D"Arial">I:  Production review.<BR>
</FONT> <BR>
<FONT FACE=3D"Arial">M:  Excellent acting.<BR>
</FONT> <BR>
<FONT FACE=3D"Arial">I:  Masks got annoyin' after awhile.  I was wa=
itin' for people to die just so they'd take the damn things off.<BR>
</FONT> <BR>
<FONT FACE=3D"Arial">M:  I was waiting for them to die just because they=
 were all annoying.<BR>
</FONT> <BR>
<FONT FACE=3D"Arial">I:  Save it.<BR>
</FONT> <BR>
<FONT FACE=3D"Arial">M:  Fine.  The set is extremely theatrical (Wh=
ich is not necessarily a bad thing) and can easily be sold intact to the nex=
t high school production of "Kiss Me, Kate."<BR>
</FONT> <BR>
<FONT FACE=3D"Arial">I:  The lights look cool in a freaked out Dario Arg=
ento kinda way, but the system was apparently hooked up to a bug zapper, so =
it went just slightly wobbly throughout the entire show, adding to the revul=
sion boilin' in my soul waitin' ta spill out and engulf the earth in blackne=
ss and despair.<BR>
</FONT> <BR>
<FONT FACE=3D"Arial">M:  Save it.<BR>
</FONT> <BR>
<FONT FACE=3D"Arial">I:  Fine.<BR>
</FONT> <BR>
<FONT FACE=3D"Arial">M:  Some of the movement of the piece was highly st=
ylized, ranging in effectiveness from very cool to silly enough to make John=
 Cleese proud.<BR>
</FONT> <BR>
<FONT FACE=3D"Arial">I:  And even I'll say it:  the actin' was grea=
t.<BR>
</FONT> <BR>
<FONT FACE=3D"Arial">PAUSE<BR>
</FONT> <BR>
<FONT FACE=3D"Arial">M:  Ready?<BR>
</FONT> <BR>
<FONT FACE=3D"Arial">I:  Since intermission.<BR>
</FONT> <BR>
<FONT FACE=3D"Arial">M:  Let's rock and roll.<BR>
</FONT> <BR>
<FONT FACE=3D"Arial">MUTUAL DEEP BREATH<BR>
</FONT> <BR>
<FONT FACE=3D"Arial">M:  Albert Camus may have been a brilliant politica=
l journalist and philosopher, but as a playwrite he pretty much sucked a big=
 weighty donkey dong.  He may have had some extremely interesting and t=
hought provoking concepts but, if this play is any indication, he had a grea=
t deal of trouble expressing them in dialogue that doesn't make you want to =
plunge chop sticks into your eardrums.<BR>
</FONT> <BR>
<FONT FACE=3D"Arial">I:  Imagine 1984 as written by Ed Wood.<BR>
</FONT> <BR>
<FONT FACE=3D"Arial">M:  In addition to writing painfully bad dialogue--=
taking a cue from Shakespeare--he writes quite a lot of it.<BR>
</FONT> <BR>
<FONT FACE=3D"Arial">I:  I was waitin' for them to die just so they'd SH=
UT UP!!!!!  <BR>
</FONT> <BR>
<FONT FACE=3D"Arial">M:  So what we have is a bunch of characters you do=
n't like, if for no other reason than they talk way too much, talking way to=
o much about some pretty heavy issues.  <BR>
</FONT> <BR>
<FONT FACE=3D"Arial">I:  Imagine Waiting for Godot as performed by Gilli=
gan and the Skipper.<BR>
</FONT> <BR>
<FONT FACE=3D"Arial">M:(Short pause) Ew.<BR>
</FONT> <BR>
<FONT FACE=3D"Arial">I:  Exactly.<BR>
</FONT> <BR>
<FONT FACE=3D"Arial">M:  Here's my major problem with the "play:&qu=
ot;  Theatre is supposed to create some kind of relationship between th=
e cast and the audience.  That's what makes it so different than cinema=
.  There's a connection you cannot get with movies.  I didn't get =
that connection at all.  I felt like I was watching a film, a very long=
 one that told me exactly how I was supposed to think and feel at all times =
even though that's exactly what it was preaching against.<BR>
</FONT> <BR>
<FONT FACE=3D"Arial">I:  I think the only way you're gonna really enjoy =
this thing is if you know before ya go in that you're about ta see a two hou=
r, highly intellectual, highly overwritten rant against the blind stupidity =
of the human race, and you're cool with that.  If so, great!  Go, =
enjoy!  This thing's gonna make ya cream your jeans.  If, on the o=
ther hand, you're just in the mood for a fun night out,  avoid it like =
a Yahoo Serious movie.<BR>
</FONT> <BR>
<FONT FACE=3D"Arial">M:  But the acting was quite good.<BR>
</FONT> <BR>
<FONT FACE=3D"Arial">I:  Yeah, it was.<BR>
</FONT> <BR>
<FONT FACE=3D"Arial">PAUSE<BR>
</FONT> <BR>
<FONT FACE=3D"Arial">I:  God, I got the show stuck in my head now. &nbsp=
;I think I need to watch A Clockwork Orange again.<BR>
</FONT><FONT FACE=3D"Times"><BR>
</FONT><B>[NEohioPAL] DELETE NOW:  A Mike and Ike Satirical Correction=
<BR>
</B><FONT FACE=3D"Times"><BR>
</FONT><FONT FACE=3D"Arial">IKE:  What does it matter?  No one care=
s what we say anyway!!<BR>
</FONT> <BR>
<FONT FACE=3D"Arial">MIKE:  No one cares what <I>you</I> say.  Get =
it right.<BR>
</FONT> <BR>
<FONT FACE=3D"Arial">I:  Fine.  Whatever.  Just get this over =
with.  We got the finale of Buffy to watch.<BR>
</FONT> <BR>
<FONT FACE=3D"Arial">M:  It has come to our attention that there was an =
error in our review of State of Siege.<BR>
</FONT> <BR>
<FONT FACE=3D"Arial">I:  Can't we just blame Holland for this?  Alw=
ays worked before.<BR>
</FONT> <BR>
<FONT FACE=3D"Arial">M:  It was an error of omission, actually.  Th=
ough the show was performed at CPT, it was produced by the Bad Epitaph Theat=
re Company, who just used CPT's space.  We sincerely apologize for any =
confusion caused by this and regret the omission.  But, honestly, after=
 sitting through that show I'm surprised we were able to remember our names.=
<BR>
<BR>
</FONT><B>BAD EPITAPH THEATER COMPANY PRESENTS<BR>
"STATE OF SIEGE" NOW THROUGH MAY 31<BR>
<FONT COLOR=3D"#FF0000">FINAL THREE PERFORMANCES!<BR>
</FONT>For complete production information: http://www.badepitaph.org</B><F=
ONT FACE=3D"Times"><BR>
</FONT>
</BODY>
</HTML>


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