[NEohioPAL]DELETE NOW: A Mike & Ike Satirical Review of Cain Park's "Fiddler on the Roof"
Jeff Holland
profbobo at neo.rr.com
Mon Jul 7 00:14:07 PDT 2003
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ROLLING DOUGHNUTS
presents
A Very Amateurish Production
Mike and Ike
in
"Reviewers on the Lawn"
Written by Mike and Ike
Additional Material by JT Buck
IKE: Why are we even reviewin' the show, limey? It closes tonight.
MIKE: Because that's what we do. We see a show, we review it. It's =
tradition. Besides, we tried to see the show opening night, and the =
next three shows after. There was just one little problem.
M&I: (Singing)
NO PARKING NO PARKING NO PARKING
NO PARKING NO PARKING NO PARKING
M: Cain Park really does a nice job of being Blossom light: Beautiful =
atmosphere, nice theatre, but for reasons that I will never fathom, the =
people who built the place decided not to level some more trees to build =
a parking lot.
I: In the 20's it wasn't necessary.
M: Note the the people that run the place: That was a century ago. =
Times change.
I: They outta rename the place CAIN'T Park.
M: There's something wrong when you see a show in Cleveland Heights and =
have to park in Aurora.
I: But like The Replacements, we walked 500 miles, got our tickets and =
finally sat down to see a show directed by
M&I: (Singing)
FRED STERNFELD FRED STERNFELD FRED STERNFELD
FRED STERNFELD FRED STERNFELD FRED STERNFELD
M: Fiddler on the Roof takes place in 1905 in a small Jewish village =
in Czarist (Or Tsarist, depending on where you're from) Russia. It is a =
simpler time when you bought your dairy products from the corner cart.
I: When men would spend hours a day talkin' bout religion.
M: When women were basically slaves and they still liked it.
I: And when children had no control over their destinies whastsoever.
M: It is the story of Tevya, a simple dairy man who tries to keep his =
traditions and faith alive in the face of a quickly changing world.
I: His daughters actually want to choose their own husbands, not who =
Barbera Streisand picks for them.
M: Yente, not Yentyl.
I: Whatever. Also, there's all the problems with the Czar (Or Tsar), =
who proves beyond a shadow of a doubt what happens if you reject the =
Christian God . . . you lose your homes.
M: (Singing)
THIS IS A SHOW THAT TACKLES REAL DEEP ISSUES
AND IT TACKLES ISSUES THROUGH A LOT OF SONGS
I: (Singing)
AND THOUGH IT'S WELL CAST AND VERY WELL DIRECTED
STILL THE SHOW IS AWFULLY LONG
M&I: (Singing)
THREE HOURS THREE HOURS THREE HOURS
THREE HOURS THREE HOURS THREE HOURS
M: Now, don't get us wrong. We're not saying the show is boring.
I: We're not?
M: Shut up. Quite the opposite. In fact, in many ways Mr. Sternfeld =
has crafted a production that is more vibrant and alive then the film =
adaptation.
I: My Dinner With Andre is more vibrant and alive than that flick.
M: The dream sequence is particularly enjoyable, with weird lighting, =
bizarre staging.
I: Kinda like a Cirque du Oy Vay.
M: (Singing)
OUTDOOR THEATRE HAS IT'S UNIQUE PROBLEMS
LIKE LOUD CAR HORNS AND DIESEL TRUCKS
I: (Singing)=20
AND THEN ONCE OR TWICE SOME OF THE MICS WOULD GO
SO WE WEREN'T SURE OF WHAT THEY WERE SINGING
M&I: (Singing)
LA BAMBA LA BAMBA OR WAS IT
DOBAMA DOBAMA WE DON'T KNOW
WE REALLY LIKED THIS SHOW. WE WISH WE LIKED THE PLAY
WE WOULD HAVE LIKED IT BETTER IF WE DIDN'T HAVE TO PAY
WE'RE CRITICS POOR CRITICS SO COMP US
REVIEW'S DONE REVIEWS DONE IT'S CURTAIN
THE END
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<BODY bgColor=3D#ffffff>
<DIV align=3Dcenter><FONT face=3DArial size=3D4>ROLLING =
DOUGHNUTS</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=3Dcenter><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>presents</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=3Dcenter><FONT face=3DArial size=3D4>A Very Amateurish=20
Production</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=3Dcenter><FONT face=3DArial size=3D4></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=3Dcenter><FONT face=3DArial size=3D4>Mike and =
Ike</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=3Dcenter><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>in</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=3Dcenter><FONT face=3DArial size=3D4>"Reviewers on the =
Lawn"</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=3Dcenter><FONT face=3DArial>Written by Mike and =
Ike</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=3Dcenter><FONT face=3DArial>Additional Material by JT =
Buck</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=3Dcenter><FONT face=3DArial></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=3Dleft><FONT face=3DArial>IKE: Why are we even =
reviewin' the show,=20
limey? It closes tonight.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=3Dleft><FONT face=3DArial></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=3Dleft><FONT face=3DArial>MIKE: Because that's what we =
do. We=20
see a show, we review it. It's tradition. Besides, we tried =
to see=20
the show opening night, and the next three shows after. There was =
just one=20
little problem.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=3Dleft><FONT face=3DArial></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=3Dleft><FONT =
face=3DArial>M&I: (Singing)</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=3Dcenter><FONT face=3DArial>NO PARKING NO PARKING NO =
PARKING</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=3Dcenter><FONT face=3DArial>NO PARKING NO PARKING NO =
PARKING</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=3Dcenter><FONT face=3DArial></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=3Dleft><FONT face=3DArial>M: Cain Park really does a =
nice job of=20
being Blossom light: Beautiful atmosphere, nice theatre, but for =
reasons=20
that I will never fathom, the people who built the place decided not to =
level=20
some more trees to build a parking lot.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=3Dleft><FONT face=3DArial></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=3Dleft><FONT face=3DArial>I: In the 20's it wasn't=20
necessary.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=3Dleft><FONT face=3DArial></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=3Dleft><FONT face=3DArial>M: Note the the people that =
run the=20
place: That was a century ago. Times change.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=3Dleft><FONT face=3DArial></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=3Dleft><FONT face=3DArial>I: They outta rename the =
place CAIN'T=20
Park.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=3Dleft><FONT face=3DArial></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=3Dleft><FONT face=3DArial>M: There's something wrong =
when you see a=20
show in Cleveland Heights and have to park in Aurora.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=3Dleft><FONT face=3DArial></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=3Dleft><FONT face=3DArial>I: But like The =
Replacements, we=20
walked 500 miles, got our tickets and finally sat down to see a =
show=20
directed by</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=3Dleft><FONT face=3DArial></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=3Dleft><FONT face=3DArial>M&I: (Singing)</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=3Dcenter><FONT face=3DArial>FRED STERNFELD FRED STERNFELD =
FRED=20
STERNFELD</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=3Dcenter><FONT face=3DArial>FRED STERNFELD FRED STERNFELD =
FRED=20
STERNFELD</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=3Dcenter><FONT face=3DArial></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=3Dleft><FONT face=3DArial>M: Fiddler on the Roof takes =
place in=20
1905 in a small Jewish village in Czarist (Or Tsarist, depending =
on where=20
you're from) Russia. It is a simpler time when you bought your =
dairy=20
products from the corner cart.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=3Dleft><FONT face=3DArial></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=3Dleft><FONT face=3DArial>I: When men would spend =
hours a day=20
talkin' bout religion.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=3Dleft><FONT face=3DArial></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=3Dleft><FONT face=3DArial>M: When women were basically =
slaves and=20
they still liked it.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=3Dleft><FONT face=3DArial></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=3Dleft><FONT face=3DArial>I: And when children had no =
control over=20
their destinies whastsoever.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=3Dleft><FONT face=3DArial></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=3Dleft><FONT face=3DArial>M: It is the story of Tevya, =
a simple=20
dairy man who tries to keep his traditions and faith alive in the face =
of a=20
quickly changing world.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=3Dleft><FONT face=3DArial></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=3Dleft><FONT face=3DArial>I: His daughters actually =
want to choose=20
their own husbands, not who Barbera Streisand picks for =
them.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=3Dleft><FONT face=3DArial></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=3Dleft><FONT face=3DArial>M: Yente, not =
Yentyl.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=3Dleft><FONT face=3DArial></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=3Dleft><FONT face=3DArial>I: Whatever. Also, =
there's all=20
the problems with the Czar (Or Tsar), who proves beyond a shadow of =
a doubt=20
what happens if you reject the Christian God . . . you lose your=20
homes.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=3Dleft><FONT face=3DArial></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=3Dleft><FONT face=3DArial>M: (Singing)</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=3Dcenter><FONT face=3DArial>THIS IS A SHOW THAT TACKLES REAL =
DEEP=20
ISSUES</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=3Dcenter><FONT face=3DArial>AND IT TACKLES ISSUES THROUGH A =
LOT OF=20
SONGS</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=3Dcenter><FONT face=3DArial></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=3Dleft><FONT face=3DArial>I: (Singing)</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=3Dcenter><FONT face=3DArial>AND THOUGH IT'S WELL CAST AND =
VERY WELL=20
DIRECTED</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=3Dcenter><FONT face=3DArial>STILL THE SHOW IS AWFULLY =
LONG</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=3Dcenter><FONT face=3DArial></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=3Dleft><FONT face=3DArial>M&I: (Singing)</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=3Dcenter><FONT face=3DArial>THREE HOURS THREE HOURS THREE=20
HOURS</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=3Dcenter><FONT face=3DArial>THREE HOURS THREE HOURS THREE=20
HOURS</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=3Dcenter><FONT face=3DArial></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=3Dleft><FONT face=3DArial>M: Now, don't get us =
wrong. We're=20
not saying the show is boring.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=3Dleft><FONT face=3DArial></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=3Dleft><FONT face=3DArial>I: We're not?</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=3Dleft><FONT face=3DArial></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=3Dleft><FONT face=3DArial>M: Shut up. Quite the=20
opposite. In fact, in many ways Mr. Sternfeld has crafted a =
production=20
that is more vibrant and alive then the film adaptation.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=3Dleft><FONT face=3DArial></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=3Dleft><FONT face=3DArial>I: My Dinner With Andre is =
more vibrant=20
and alive than that flick.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=3Dleft><FONT face=3DArial></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=3Dleft><FONT face=3DArial>M: The dream sequence is =
particularly=20
enjoyable, with weird lighting, bizarre staging.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=3Dleft><FONT face=3DArial></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=3Dleft><FONT face=3DArial>I: Kinda like a Cirque du Oy=20
Vay.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=3Dleft><FONT face=3DArial></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=3Dleft><FONT face=3DArial>M: (Singing)</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=3Dcenter><FONT face=3DArial>OUTDOOR THEATRE HAS IT'S UNIQUE=20
PROBLEMS</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=3Dcenter><FONT face=3DArial>LIKE LOUD CAR HORNS AND DIESEL=20
TRUCKS</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=3Dcenter><FONT face=3DArial></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=3Dleft><FONT face=3DArial>I: (Singing) </FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=3Dcenter><FONT face=3DArial>AND THEN ONCE OR TWICE SOME OF =
THE MICS WOULD=20
GO</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=3Dcenter><FONT face=3DArial>SO WE WEREN'T SURE OF WHAT THEY =
WERE=20
SINGING</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=3Dcenter><FONT face=3DArial></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=3Dleft><FONT face=3DArial>M&I: (Singing)</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=3Dcenter><FONT face=3DArial>LA BAMBA LA BAMBA OR WAS =
IT</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=3Dcenter><FONT face=3DArial>DOBAMA DOBAMA WE DON'T =
KNOW</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=3Dcenter><FONT face=3DArial></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=3Dcenter><FONT face=3DArial>WE REALLY LIKED THIS SHOW. =
WE WISH WE=20
LIKED THE PLAY</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=3Dcenter><FONT face=3DArial>WE WOULD HAVE LIKED IT BETTER IF =
WE DIDN'T=20
HAVE TO PAY</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=3Dcenter><FONT face=3DArial></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=3Dcenter><FONT face=3DArial>WE'RE CRITICS POOR CRITICS SO =
COMP=20
US</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=3Dcenter><FONT face=3DArial>REVIEW'S DONE REVIEWS DONE IT'S=20
CURTAIN</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=3Dcenter><FONT face=3DArial></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=3Dcenter><FONT face=3DArial></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=3Dcenter><FONT face=3DArial></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=3Dcenter><FONT face=3DArial><STRONG>THE=20
END</STRONG></FONT></DIV></BODY></HTML>
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