[NEohioPAL]My First Period Project--writing opportunity for women

Fri Sep 19 13:35:38 PDT 2003

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Here is a writing opportunity that I'd love the artists in Ohio to take =
advantage of!  Thank you!

MY FIRST PERIOD PROJECT

=20

What is it?:  A book of stories about women's periods being collected =
throughout the year to be published hopefully next fall. =20

=20

Why?: To be able to freely discuss menstruation and its highs and lows =
between mothers and daughters, men and women, and liberate a topic which =
has been taboo for a long time.=20

=20

Who?:  We are collecting stories from all women-young and old, all =
nationalities, and all economic backgrounds.  Everyone has a story to be =
told!

=20

Contact Info:  Lisa Siciliano PO Box 206354 New Haven, CT 06520=20

Mobile: 216-496-3150  Phone: 203-436-0990 Fax: 203 562 5201

lisa.siciliano at yale.edu or ARTSPACE 50 Orange ST. New Haven, CT 06501

=20

New Haven, CT, Summer 2003

Dear Friend,

My daughter Rachel (age 13) and I are writing a book that brings =
together the stories of=20
a diverse group of women who recount the circumstances around the =
arrival of their=20
first period.  We hope that you will contribute to this project.=20

Rachel's big day arrived during her 7th grade spring break, while she =
was visiting her=20
widowed grandfather. This really meant that she had to fend for herself. =
Mom's long=20
distance, over the phone, efforts at explaining the use of a tampon =
failed miserably. The=20
napkin aisle at the pharmacy was completely bewildering to a neophyte. =
What was=20
worse, she was signed her up for a week's worth of water-skiing lessons =
as her main=20
vacation activity. It was funny, but only in retrospect.

In the course of sharing the news with the women in our family, we got =
back amazing=20
vignettes, stories, and circumstances surrounding their own first =
periods. An Aunt got=20
her period while being strip-searched at the German border, as she =
escaped Nazi=20
deportation.  A cousin got her period while on an old country farmhouse =
with no=20
modern plumbing. I had never heard any of these stories before. It seems =
most of us=20
remember this moment quite vividly, yet few of us have had the chance to =
share it.=20
Inspired, Rachel and I decided to gather the recollections of an =
eclectic group of women,=20
and assemble them into an engaging, sometimes funny, sometimes awkward, =
yet always=20
moving collection of something to give to a daughter on the occasion of =
her first period.

As Gloria Steinem imagined in  "If Men Could Menstruate", her classic =
1978=20

essay for Ms. Magazine, there would be so much bragging and bonding and

 period-envy around each month that the world would be quite a different =
place.

 By airing our own stories, we open the channels of communication =
between women,

mothers and daughters, sisters and aunts, and reclaim this part of our =
history.

If you would be willing to participate and share your own experience, =
we'd be thrilled.=20
Short prose (a page or less) seems about the right length. We have =
attached a few=20
samples to give you a sense of the variety of experiences.=20

A portion of the proceeds from My First Period: Revelations & =
Recollections will be=20
directed to support non-profits working to advance women's rights, and =
we'd be=20
honored to support the charity of your choice.

Thank you!

Helen Kauder & Rachel Kauder-Nalebuff
helen at artspacenh.org

Samples:=20
     Please Dispose of Properly, 1993
Once, when my daughter was thirteen, her friend came to stay overnight =
and her period began. Her mother had prepared her and she had a pad. =
Unfortunately, however, mom had neglected to cover the issue of =
disposal. When my then-husband went into the bathroom, he saw a large =
pad in the toilet. It had soaked up all the water in the bowl and was =
the size of a phone book. He called for backup, and I had to both =
explain to her how to dispose of used pads and fish it out of the =
toilet.=20

-Catherine Conant, Chester, CT.  Catherine Conant is a storyteller who =
helps develop community story telling projects.

     Germany, 1942
       I was thirteen. It was 1942. We were fleeing Poland and the =
deportation of the Jews.The atrocities committed by the Germans were =
getting worse. Ghettos were being formed. My uncles in Belgium and =
France went through enormous troubles to obtain visas and passage for us =
to get out. To reach Belgium, we had to pass through Germany. My story =
takes place on the train arriving from Poland at the German border =
crossing. The train stopped, and we were told to get completely =
undressed for the customs guards to search us. The guards were mostly =
searching for hidden jewelry, and they looked in the most private =
places. It was horrible. I had hidden my yellow Star of David in my =
shoe, but it was discovered. In my fright, I completely lost it and peed =
in my pants. But when I looked down, what I saw was actually a stream of =
red. I raced into the compartment, and my mother saw what was happening. =
She rushed to the toilets at the end of the train and grabbed lots of =
rolls of toilet paper, one of which she shoved into my underwear. She =
was somehow able to do this so discreetly that my two sisters and =
brother never knew about this. She whispered to me that now I was going =
to be a big girl on whom she was going to have to depend, that this =
would happen every month. But most important, she told me, in Belgium =
and France, where we were heading, they had excellent napkins, much =
better than in Poland.=20
-N. Waks, Martel, France (translated from French). Nina is a retired =
schoolteacher and a grandmother.

Burning Secret, 1966

I was eleven years old and the first of all my friends to get a period. =
Since most girls didn't seem to get a period until they were twelve, =
thirteen, or fourteen years old, my parents and my friends' parents had =
not bothered to bring up the subject for discussion. I had no idea what =
a period was. When older girls said the word, I just thought they were =
talking about sentence structure. One summer afternoon when I was home =
alone, I felt sticky between my legs as if I had peed in my pants. I =
went into the bathroom, pulled down my underwear, and was stunned to =
discover them drenched with blood. I knew then that I was dying.

I was okay about dying, but thought my parents and friends might be =
upset, so I kept my dying a secret. I told no one. Every day for eleven =
days, close to sunset, I took off the blood-drenched underwear and =
shorts or pants through which the blood seeped, went outside to our =
trash cans hidden behind a fence bordering some woods, and set fire to =
the bloody objects, watching them burn until they turned to ash.

On the twelfth day, I was caught. My mom discovered me, my fire, and the =
last vestige of my last pair of underwear. She questioned why I would =
burn my underwear. Naturally, I could not tell her that I was dying, so =
I refused to speak. She grew angry, marched me into her bedroom, and =
demanded that I explain to my father why I was burning my underwear. My =
silence provoked fury, and together my parents began taking away =
privileges until I was left with not even the possibility of going =
outside. So, I told them. I was bleeding ... I was dying ... and I was =
sparing them my pain.

-Suzan Shutan, East Haven, CT. Suzan is a visual artist and ran the =
Percent for Art program for the City of New Haven.

               Dress Up,  1995
I had my period in the middle of my eighth grade final exams. I had =
known about periods from my friends (some of whom already experienced =
this) and had been waiting for it. I had also read about it in our home =
sciences book (a topic that only girls are supposed to study). Although =
the teacher avoided the chapter on periods we were very curious and read =
by ourselves. Despite all the understanding, I cried when I found the =
blood, just as I was preparing for school. At the time, I lived with my =
grandmother, aunt and uncle, as my father worked in the capital city =
with my mother. So I called my aunt and she explained how to maintain =
cleanliness (sanitary pads were still not in use in this small town of =
Bangladesh and I was told to use cloth and wash it properly). She also =
said that I should not be disclosing this to my uncle-I already knew =
that this was a women's affair but this caution helped me understand the =
importance of the matter. I met one of my cousins (who was older than me =
and did not have her first period yet) in the school and shared the news =
with her. I was quite concerned about having to take part in the exam =
for physical exercise while having my period but it went without much =
trouble. The most significant change was in my dress.  I was no longer =
allowed to wear a skirt or frock (those are for girls) and had to dress =
up like a woman, which meant shalwaar-kameez and dopatta. I moved to my =
parents' place within a few months. My mother told me that I have "grown =
up"(in the sense of a woman growing up) and she would be quite concerned =
if I lived somewhere else.

--Laila Khondkar, Bangladesh-Laila was the first Rhodes Scholar from =
Bangladesh and now works for Save the Children.

=20

Lisa Siciliano
Saybrook College
Yale University
lisa.siciliano at yale.edu

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<DIV><FONT face=3DTahoma size=3D2>Here is a writing opportunity that I'd =
love the=20
artists in Ohio to take advantage of!  Thank you!</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DTahoma size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DTahoma size=3D2>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"TEXT-ALIGN: center" align=3Dcenter><B=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><I=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-style: normal"><U><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-FAMILY: 'Goudy Stout'; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma">MY =
FIRST PERIOD=20
PROJECT<?xml:namespace prefix =3D o ns =3D =
"urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office"=20
/><o:p></o:p></SPAN></U></I></B></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal><I style=3D"mso-bidi-font-style: normal"><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 5pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-size: =
10.0pt"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></I></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal><B style=3D"mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><I=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-style: normal"><U><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">What is =
it?:</SPAN></U></I></B><I=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-style: normal"><U><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>A book of stories about =
women's periods=20
being collected throughout the year to be published hopefully next =
fall.<SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN><o:p></o:p></SPAN></U></I></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal><B style=3D"mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><U><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 5pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-size: =
10.0pt"><o:p><SPAN=20
style=3D"TEXT-DECORATION: none"> </SPAN></o:p></SPAN></U></B></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal><B style=3D"mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><I=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-style: normal"><U><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: =
Tahoma">Why?:</SPAN></U></I></B><I=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-style: normal"><U><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> To be able to freely =
discuss=20
menstruation and its highs and lows between mothers and daughters, men =
and=20
women, and liberate a topic which has been taboo for a long time.=20
<o:p></o:p></SPAN></U></I></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal><B style=3D"mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><I=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-style: normal"><U><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 5pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-size: =
10.0pt"><o:p><SPAN=20
style=3D"TEXT-DECORATION: =
none"> </SPAN></o:p></SPAN></U></I></B></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal><B style=3D"mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><I=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-style: normal"><U><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">Who?:<SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>We are collecting stories from =
all=20
women-young and old, all nationalities, and all economic =
backgrounds.<SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Everyone has a story to be=20
told!<o:p></o:p></SPAN></U></I></B></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal><B style=3D"mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><I=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-style: normal"><U><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 5pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-size: =
10.0pt"><o:p><SPAN=20
style=3D"TEXT-DECORATION: =
none"> </SPAN></o:p></SPAN></U></I></B></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal><B style=3D"mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><I=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-style: normal"><U><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">Contact=20
Info:</SPAN></U></I></B><SPAN style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: =
Tahoma"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Lisa Siciliano =
</SPAN><?xml:namespace=20
prefix =3D st1 ns =3D "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags"=20
/><st1:address><st1:Street><SPAN style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: =
Tahoma">PO=20
Box 206354</SPAN></st1:Street><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> </SPAN><st1:City><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">New =
Haven</SPAN></st1:City><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">, </SPAN><st1:State><SPAN =

style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: =
Tahoma">CT</SPAN></st1:State><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> =
</SPAN><st1:PostalCode><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: =
Tahoma">06520</SPAN></st1:PostalCode></st1:address><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal><SPAN lang=3DFR=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; mso-ansi-language: =
FR">Mobile:=20
216-496-3150<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Phone:=20
203-436-0990</SPAN><SPAN lang=3DFR style=3D"mso-ansi-language: FR"> Fax: =
203 562=20
5201</SPAN><SPAN lang=3DFR=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; mso-ansi-language: =
FR"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal><st1:PersonName><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: =
Tahoma">lisa.siciliano at yale.edu</SPAN></st1:PersonName><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> or ARTSPACE 50 Orange =
ST.=20
</SPAN><st1:place><st1:City><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">New =
Haven</SPAN></st1:City><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">, </SPAN><st1:State><SPAN =

style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: =
Tahoma">CT</st1:State><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> =
<st1:PostalCode><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: =
Tahoma">06501</st1:PostalCode></st1:place><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"><o:p></o:p>
<SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 5pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-size: =
10.0pt"><o:p> </o:p>
<st1:place><st1:City>New Haven</st1:City>,=20
<st1:State>CT</st1:State></st1:place>, Summer 2003 <SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 5pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt"> Dear=20
Friend, My daughter Rachel (age 13) and I are writing a book that =
brings=20
together the stories of a diverse group of women who recount the=20
circumstances around the arrival of their first period.  We =
hope that=20
you will contribute to this project. Rachel's big day arrived =
during her=20
7th grade spring break, while she was visiting her widowed =
grandfather. This=20
really meant that she had to fend for herself. Mom's long distance, =
over the=20
phone, efforts at explaining the use of a tampon failed miserably. The=20
 napkin aisle at the pharmacy was completely bewildering to a =
neophyte. What=20
was worse, she was signed her up for a week's worth of water-skiing =
lessons=20
as her main vacation activity. It was funny, but only in=20
retrospect. In the course of sharing the news with the women in =
our=20
family, we got back amazing vignettes, stories, and circumstances=20
surrounding their own first periods. An Aunt got her period while =
being=20
strip-searched at the German border, as she escaped Nazi =
 deportation. =20
A cousin got her period while on an old country farmhouse with no =
 modern=20
plumbing. I had never heard any of these stories before. It seems most =
of us=20
 remember this moment quite vividly, yet few of us have had the =
chance to=20
share it. Inspired, Rachel and I decided to gather the recollections =
of an=20
eclectic group of women, and assemble them into an engaging, =
sometimes=20
funny, sometimes awkward, yet always moving collection =
of something to=20
give to a daughter on the occasion of her first period. As Gloria =
Steinem=20
imagined in  "If Men Could Menstruate", her classic 1978 
essay for Ms. Magazine, there would be so much =
bragging and=20
bonding and
 period-envy=20
around each month that the world would be quite a different place.
 By =
airing our=20
own stories, we open the channels of communication between women,
mothers and daughters, sisters and aunts, and =
reclaim this=20
part of our history. If you would be willing to participate and =
share=20
your own experience, we'd be thrilled. Short prose (a page or less) =
seems=20
about the right length. We have attached a few samples to give you a =
sense=20
of the variety of experiences. A portion of the proceeds from My =
First=20
Period: Revelations & Recollections will be directed to support=20
non-profits working to advance women's rights, and we'd be honored =
to=20
support the charity of your choice. Thank you! Helen =
Kauder &=20
Rachel Kauder-Nalebuff <A=20
href=3D"mailto:helen at artspacenh.org">helen at artspacenh.org</A>
<H2 style=3D"MARGIN-LEFT: 0.25in"><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-WEIGHT: normal; mso-bidi-font-weight: =
bold">Samples:<SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-WEIGHT: normal; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: =
bold">=20
<o:p></o:p></H2>
<H2 style=3D"MARGIN-LEFT: 0.25in"><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: green"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">    <SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> <SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 10pt">Please Dispose of Properly,=20
1993<o:p></o:p></H2>
<SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 10pt">Once, when my daughter was thirteen, her =
friend came to=20
stay overnight and her period began. Her mother had prepared her and she =
had a=20
pad. Unfortunately, however, mom had neglected to cover the issue of =
disposal.=20
When my then-husband went into the bathroom, he saw a large pad in the =
toilet.=20
It had soaked up all the water in the bowl and was the size of a phone =
book. He=20
called for backup, and I had to both explain to her how to dispose of =
used pads=20
and fish it out of the =
toilet.=20
<o:p></o:p>
<I=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-style: normal">—Catherine=20
Conant, <st1:place><st1:City><I=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-style: normal"><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 10pt">Chester</st1:City><I=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-style: normal">,=20
<st1:State><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 10pt">CT.</st1:State></st1:place><I=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-style: normal"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  Catherine Conant is a =
storyteller who=20
helps develop community story telling =
projects.<o:p></o:p>
<H2 style=3D"MARGIN-LEFT: 0.25in"><A name=3D_Toc457959432><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 10pt">    =20
</A><st1:country-region><st1:place><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bookmark: _Toc457959432"><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: =
10pt">Germany</st1:place></st1:country-region><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bookmark: _Toc457959432">,=20
1942<SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><o:p></o:p></H2>
<H2 style=3D"MARGIN-LEFT: 0.25in; TEXT-ALIGN: justify"><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-WEIGHT: normal; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: =
bold"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> <SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">      I was =
thirteen.=20
It was 1942. We were fleeing <st1:country-region><st1:place><SPAN =

style=3D"FONT-WEIGHT: normal; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: =
bold">Poland</st1:place></st1:country-region><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-WEIGHT: normal; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: =
bold"> and=20
the deportation of the Jews.The atrocities committed by the Germans were =
getting=20
worse. Ghettos were being formed. My uncles in=20
<st1:country-region><st1:place><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-WEIGHT: normal; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: =
bold">Belgium</st1:place></st1:country-region><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-WEIGHT: normal; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: =
bold"> and=20
<st1:country-region><st1:place><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-WEIGHT: normal; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: =
bold">France</st1:place></st1:country-region><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-WEIGHT: normal; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: =
bold"> went=20
through enormous troubles to obtain visas and passage for us to get out. =
To=20
reach <st1:country-region><st1:place><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-WEIGHT: normal; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: =
bold">Belgium</st1:place></st1:country-region><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-WEIGHT: normal; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: =
bold">, we=20
had to pass through <st1:country-region><st1:place><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-WEIGHT: normal; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: =
bold">Germany</st1:place></st1:country-region><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-WEIGHT: normal; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: =
bold">. My=20
story takes place on the train arriving from=20
<st1:country-region><st1:place><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-WEIGHT: normal; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: =
bold">Poland</st1:place></st1:country-region><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-WEIGHT: normal; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: =
bold"> at the=20
German border crossing. The train stopped, and we were told to get =
completely=20
undressed for the customs guards to search us. The guards were mostly =
searching=20
for hidden jewelry, and they looked in the most private places. It was =
horrible.=20
I had hidden my yellow Star of David in my shoe, but it was discovered. =
In my=20
fright, I completely lost it and peed in my pants. But when I looked =
down, what=20
I saw was actually a stream of red. I raced into the compartment, and my =
mother=20
saw what was happening. She rushed to the toilets at the end of the =
train and=20
grabbed lots of rolls of toilet paper, one of which she shoved into my=20
underwear. She was somehow able to do this so discreetly that my two =
sisters and=20
brother never knew about this. She whispered to me that now I was going =
to be a=20
big girl on whom she was going to have to depend, that this would happen =
every=20
month. But most important, she told me, in=20
<st1:country-region><st1:place><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-WEIGHT: normal; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: =
bold">Belgium</st1:place></st1:country-region><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-WEIGHT: normal; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: =
bold"> and=20
<st1:country-region><st1:place><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-WEIGHT: normal; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: =
bold">France</st1:place></st1:country-region><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-WEIGHT: normal; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: =
bold">, where=20
we were heading, they had excellent napkins, much better than in=20
<st1:country-region><st1:place><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-WEIGHT: normal; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: =
bold">Poland</st1:place></st1:country-region><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-WEIGHT: normal; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: =
bold">.=20
<o:p></o:p></H2>
<I=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-style: normal">—N. Waks,=20
<st1:place><st1:City><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 10pt">Martel</st1:City><I=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-style: normal">,=20
<st1:country-region><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: =
10pt">France</st1:country-region></st1:place><I=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-style: normal"> =
(translated=20
from French). Nina is a retired <A name=3D_Toc457959433>schoolteacher =
and a=20
grandmother.<o:p></o:p></A>
<SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bookmark: _Toc457959433"><B=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black">Burning Secret,=20
1966<B=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><o:p></o:p>
<SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black">I was eleven years old and the =
first of all=20
my friends to get a period. Since most girls didn’t seem to get a =
period until=20
they were twelve, thirteen, or fourteen years old, my parents and my =
friends’=20
parents had not bothered to bring up the subject for discussion. I had =
no idea=20
what a period was. When older girls said the word, I just thought they =
were=20
talking about sentence structure. One summer afternoon when I was home =
alone, I=20
felt sticky between my legs as if I had peed in my pants. I went into =
the=20
bathroom, pulled down my underwear, and was stunned to discover them =
drenched=20
with blood. I knew then that I was dying.<o:p></o:p>
<SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black">I was okay about dying, but =
thought my=20
parents and friends might be upset, so I kept my dying a secret. I told =
no one.=20
Every day for eleven days, close to sunset, I took off the =
blood-drenched=20
underwear and shorts or pants through which the blood seeped, went =
outside to=20
our trash cans hidden behind a fence bordering some woods, and set fire =
to the=20
bloody objects, watching them burn until they turned to=20
ash.<o:p></o:p>
<SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black">On the twelfth day, I was caught. =
My mom=20
discovered me, my fire, and the last vestige of my last pair of =
underwear. She=20
questioned why I would burn my underwear. Naturally, I could not tell =
her that I=20
was dying, so I refused to speak. She grew angry, marched me into her =
bedroom,=20
and demanded that I explain to my father why I was burning my underwear. =
My=20
silence provoked fury, and together my parents began taking away =
privileges=20
until I was left with not even the possibility of going outside. So, I =
told=20
them. I was bleeding ... I was dying ... and I was sparing them my=20
pain.<o:p></o:p>
<I=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-style: normal"><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black">—Suzan Shutan, East Haven, =
CT.=20
<SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 9pt">Suzan is a visual artist and ran the Percent =
for Art=20
program for the City of <st1:City><st1:place><I=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-style: normal">New =

Haven</SPAN></I></st1:place></st1:City><I=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-style: normal"><SPAN style=3D"FONT-SIZE: =
9pt">.<SPAN=20
style=3D"COLOR: black"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></SPAN></I></P>
<H2><SPAN style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 9pt"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: =
yes">           =20
</SPAN><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: =
yes">   </SPAN><U>Dress=20
Up,<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  =
</SPAN>1995<o:p></o:p></U></SPAN></H2>
<P class=3DMsoNormal=20
style=3D"TEXT-INDENT: 0.5in; TEXT-ALIGN: justify; mso-margin-top-alt: =
auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 9pt">I had my period in the middle of my eighth =
grade final=20
exams. I had known about periods from my friends (some of whom already=20
experienced this) and had been waiting for it. I had also read about it =
in our=20
home sciences book (a topic that only girls are supposed to study). =
Although the=20
teacher avoided the chapter on periods we were very curious and read by=20
ourselves. Despite all the understanding, I cried when I found the =
blood, just=20
as I was preparing for school. At the time, I lived with my grandmother, =
aunt=20
and uncle, as my father worked in the capital city with my mother. So I =
called=20
my aunt and she explained how to maintain cleanliness (sanitary pads =
were still=20
not in use in this small town of </SPAN><st1:City><st1:place><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 9pt">Bangladesh</SPAN></st1:place></st1:City><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 9pt"> and I was told to use cloth and wash it =
properly). She=20
also said that I should not be disclosing this to my uncle-I already =
knew that=20
this was a women’s affair but this caution helped me understand =
the importance=20
of the matter. I met one of my cousins (who was older than me and did =
not have=20
her first period yet) in the school and shared the news with her. I was =
quite=20
concerned about having to take part in the exam for physical exercise =
while=20
having my period but it went without much trouble. The most significant =
change=20
was in my dress.<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>I was no =
longer=20
allowed to wear a skirt or frock (those are for girls) and had to dress =
up like=20
a woman, which meant <I style=3D"mso-bidi-font-style: =
normal">shalwaar-kameez</I>=20
and <I style=3D"mso-bidi-font-style: normal">dopatta</I>. I moved to my =
parents’=20
place within a few months. My mother told me that I have “grown =
up”(in the sense=20
of a woman growing up) and she would be quite concerned if I lived =
somewhere=20
else.<o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal=20
style=3D"TEXT-INDENT: 0.5in; TEXT-ALIGN: justify; mso-margin-top-alt: =
auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"><I=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-style: normal"><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 9pt">--</SPAN></I><st1:place><st1:City><I=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-style: normal"><SPAN style=3D"FONT-SIZE: =
9pt">Laila=20
Khondkar</SPAN></I></st1:City><I style=3D"mso-bidi-font-style: =
normal"><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 9pt">, </SPAN></I><st1:country-region><I=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-style: normal"><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: =
9pt">Bangladesh</SPAN></I></st1:country-region></st1:place><I=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-style: normal"><SPAN style=3D"FONT-SIZE: =
9pt">-Laila was the=20
first Rhodes Scholar from </SPAN></I><st1:country-region><st1:place><I=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-style: normal"><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: =
9pt">Bangladesh</SPAN></I></st1:place></st1:country-region><I=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-style: normal"><SPAN style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 9pt"> =
and now works=20
for Save the Children.<o:p></o:p></SPAN></I></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal=20
style=3D"mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: =
auto"><o:p> </o:p></P></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DTahoma size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DTahoma size=3D2>Lisa Siciliano<BR>Saybrook =
College<BR>Yale=20
University<BR><A=20
href=3D"mailto:lisa.siciliano at yale.edu">lisa.siciliano at yale.edu</A></FONT=
></DIV></BODY></HTML>

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