[NEohioPAL]A special message to anyone who loves musical (Especially weird ones) from Mike and Ike

[Jeff Holland]

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WARNING:  THERE IS A SILENCE OF THE LAMBS MUSICAL.  AVOID IT=0A =0AMike: (E=
nglish accent) Greetings and salutations.  He=92s not Mike.=0A =0AIke: (Eng=
lish accent) He ain=92t Ike, but we are both excited as a pedophile who=92s=
 just discovered Yahoo messenger.=0A =0AM:  Yes, dear friends, it is indeed=
 a frabjous day.=0A =0AI:  Callooh!  Callay!=0A =0AM:  For we are taking a =
trip to New York City.=0A =0ASALSA FAN VOICES:  NEW YORK CITY?=0A =0AI:  Th=
at=92s right.  Mike and Ike are headin=92 for Broadway.  Well, near Broadwa=
y=0A =0AM:  And why are we heading for near Broadway.=0A =0AI:  I=92m glad =
you asked.  We are headin=92 for near Broadway because we got free tickets =
to=0A =0AEVIL DEAD-THE MUSICAL=0A =0AI:  Can ya frakkin=92 believe it?  I g=
et ta see dancin=92 zombies, I get ta see dismemberments, and I get peppy s=
how tunes.  And I=92m getting=92 it all for free.=0A =0AM:  And how did we =
get these free tickets, Isaac?=0A =0AI:  Oh, it=92s quite simple, Michael. =
 We are just too cool for our own egos.=0A =0AM:  And we are passing the co=
olness along to you, our faithful readers.  Not only will you soon be readi=
ng a review, as well as our take on the New York theatre scene.=0A =0AI:  I=
t=92s a whole new group ta piss off.  Can=92t wait.=0A =0AM:  We also have =
not one, but TWO very special interviews with the cast and crew.=0A =0AI:  =
Of a show that=92s playin=92 near Broadway.=0A =0AM:  Haven=92t we been ban=
ned from a couple of theatres around here that =93did not wish to be associ=
ated with our kind of humor?=94=0A =0AI:  Yes, we have.=0A =0AM:  Didn=92t =
we get an email saying that we =93owed the entire Northeastern Ohio theatre=
 community an apology=94 for pretty much the same reason?=0A =0AI:  Yes, we=
 did.=0A =0AM:  And even after all THIS goodness, do we not have an intervi=
ew with an actual movie star coming up (Hint:  He was in Waiting for Guffma=
n)=0A =0AI:  Yes, we do.=0A =0AM:  Are we gloating?=0A =0AI:  Yes, we are.=
=0A =0AM:  Okay.  Just wanted to make sure.  Our first =0A =0AEVIL DEAD-THE=
 MUSICAL=0A =0AM:  interview is with Matt Olmstead, who runs the musical=92=
s official Myspace page.  The man=92s got over 33,000 friends on it, so he=
=92s got to be doing something right.=0A =0AI:  In addition ta bein=92 the =
show=92s voice ta the fans, he played Scotty in every previous production o=
f the show, he designed and constructed the special effects, props, and set=
, and built and operated several puppets (4 at one time apparently).  He=92=
s also a teacher, a scientist, the owner of several large publishin=92 comp=
anies, a spy, and current holder of the Miss Nude World title.  =0A =0AM:  =
For the New York production, he is credited as Web Designer/Web promotions =
and (Oh, do I love this) Blood Delivery Systems Consultant, with a man name=
d Peter Higgins.  We don=92t know who you are, sir, but you worked on this =
show, so we like you.=0A =0AI:  We caught up with Matt at his day job, work=
in=92 the drive-through at a Burger King in Toronto.  =0A =0AM:  There wasn=
=92t a line, so we were able to ask him a few questions.=0A =0AFLASHBACK MU=
SIC=0A =0AMatt:  Welcome to Burger King.  May I take your order, please?=0A=
 =0AM:  Matt, it=92s Mike and Ike.=0A =0AM2:  Oh, hey, guys.  We can do thi=
s until a car shows up.=0A =0AI:  No prob.  Okay, first question:  How bloo=
dy is this thing?=0A =0AM2:  That=92s a trade secret.  Seriously . . . we s=
wore ourselves to secrecy back in the day.  .=0ALots is a very good answer =
though.=0AIt's funny.  I have heard many different volumes of blood quoted =
in the media for our show... all wrong.  Only about 5 people actually know =
the numbers.  Of course, we use several TYPES of blood too... sticky blood =
to hit Ash in the face with the Blood Delivery System... runny blood for th=
e audience (stretches the budget and cleans out better)... FX blood for add=
ing wounds (it's a jelly like substance)... etc.=0A =0AM:  Matt continued t=
o refuse our request for exact gallonage until we agreed to a secret ceremo=
ny involving peyote, The O=92 Reilly Factor, and genital mutilation.=0A =0A=
I:  But we know.  Oh, yes.  We know.=0A =0AM:  Do you want to know?=0A =0AI=
:  Ask Matt.=0A =0AFLASHBACK MUSIC=0A =0AM:  When you were designing the sp=
ecial effects, did you study the Grand Guignol at all?=0A =0AM2:  A very in=
telligent person asked me that the other day.  I never realized that we wer=
e reforming a 120 year old theatre tradition.  We mainly did the special ef=
fects by the seat of our pants.  There was a hardware store near the theatr=
e that had to deal with some pretty strange requests.  Every day we=92d sho=
w up and go through their stockroom, asking for things that could squirt, s=
pray, flap, spring and explode.  My basement ended up looking like a real m=
ad scientist=92s lair.=0A =0AI:  How cool a song is What the F@$k was That?=
  Cause it=92s the coolest song title in history.=0A =0AM2:  It=92s really =
cool.  It=92s Ash and Scotty trying to figure out what=92s going on and wha=
t to do next.  It hits you right out of a very dramatic moment in the show =
where the energy is really high then WHAMMO!  they=92re singing this crazy =
song about disbelief and escape and the ridiculousness of the whole situati=
on.  It gets better from there . . . there=92s some tango in there and ther=
e=92s a grand tri-tette=97Is that a word?=0A =0AI:  What=92s it mean?=0A =
=0AM2:  It=92s a duet plus one, with Ash, Scotty, and Demon Cheryl.=0A =0AI=
:  Works for me.=0A =0AM2:  It was a bit scary doing the show for an audien=
ce for the first time because of all the swearing.  Scotty has a real sailo=
r mouth, and says some very VERY racy things.  We wondered if that would ki=
ll the show before it even got started, but the audience LOVED it.  People =
got in trouble for singing the song at work.  My brother got sent home from=
 school for wearing a t-shirt with =93What the F@$k was That=94 on it (We s=
old them during our second run).  It was a hit.=0A =0AM:  When did you know=
 you had the audience?=0A =0AM2:  I knew we had them when the whole house b=
roke out in laughter after the third repetition of "What a stupid bitch!"  =
(I know... but it's funny in context) and started hooting and hollering.   =
The show as a whole knew we had them when the cabin came alive for the firs=
t time and the crowd went just as insane as Ash.  By the end of act 1 we kn=
ew we had a great show.=0A Of course this was all on the 2nd night of the s=
how as the first night was performed outside during the blackout and all ru=
les were out the door (along with the set, puppets and band...)=0A =0AM:  W=
ait a minute.  You did a show during the East coast blackout?=0A =0AM2:  Ye=
ah.  Our opening night performance was August 14 2003.  =0AWe hauled what w=
e could of the set out onto the lawn of the theatre and set up shop under a=
 tree.  The show started at dusk lit by candles, flashlights and car headli=
ghts.  The band was a ragtag trio of our sound designer on a snare drum, ou=
r keyboardist on a borrowed micro-cassio running on 4 D-cells, and our guit=
arist on the theatre's back room acoustic that fell out of tune by the end =
of each song.=0A We roamed the neighborhood yelling that we were doing a sh=
ow and lo and behold 350 people showed up.  That was our audience until a y=
ear later in Montreal.=0A By the time the zombies started popping up, getti=
ng killed and popping up again it was fully dark and CREEPY!  A zombie musi=
cal in a silent city.  Perfection.=0A When the blackout actually occurred I=
 was 25 feet above the stage fixing our giant Necronomicon (that opened and=
 closed to display pages of the text during the show) and I just about brok=
e my neck getting off that ladder while bitterly yelling at our lighting de=
signer Gareth to turn the lights back on.=0A We got a good amount of press =
for our "Show must go on" attitude, and the rest is history... in the makin=
g.=0AI did have my greatest ever theatre line during that show.  All the ca=
st members looked at me like I was crazy as I climbed a large tree in the m=
iddle of our impromptu play space in front of the theatre in the middle of =
our big opening song and dance number "Cabin in the woods".=0AThey realized=
 what I was up to when my lyrics came up=0A"In a few hours you will see me=
=0Adoing the nasty in a Tree!"=0AAs I humped a large tree branch, swung dow=
n to the ground with one arm, and joined in the dancing like it was all cho=
reographed.=0A =0AM:  What happens when things just don=92t go right during=
 the show, or has it been blessed?=0A =0AM2:  This show has never been bles=
sed with anything except a great concept and a lot of people who are unwill=
ing to give up on it.  We have faced blackouts, strange reviews, crazy audi=
ence members (REALLY CRAZY sometimes), broken props, broken actors, blood f=
ailures, lighting and sound breakdowns, and more blood-fried mics than I ca=
n count.  However there's always been a core group that simply steps up and=
 gets something to work before that curtain has to open again.=0A I have wa=
lked on stage as the curtain opens on the show while handing a drill off to=
 an assistant stage manager.  I have picked breakable glass out of my face.=
  It's not about how bad things get... it's about how good we make it in sp=
ite of the disasters.=0A Personally... I LOVE the challenge.  Whenever a di=
rector said "I wish we could do X, but it's impossible" I would try to have=
 it working in 2 days.=0A =0AI:  This is my next most important question, a=
fter the blood one:  How hot are the zombie chicks?=0A =0AM2:  Very very ho=
t.  George and Chris like to mention that they are the minority in this cas=
e.  Straight guys writing and producing Musical theatre.  They also want to=
 hit a much stronger male market with this show and they have cast some ver=
y fine looking ladies to get all bloodied up on stage.  The female characte=
rs also have different styles... sexbomb Shelly, nerdy but cute sister Cher=
yl and perky Linda.  It's like Charlie's Angels style zombies.  That sounds=
 like fun.  Evil Dead vs. Charlie's Angels!=0A =0AI:  If it were porn, I=92=
d watch it.  By the way, how come we ain=92t been in your top Myspace frien=
ds yet?  We sold tickets, man!=0A =0AM2:  I get this a lot... have you ever=
 tried to find ONE specific person amongst 33,000 friends to put them on th=
at list?  I do have a system now for finding people so... I may just give y=
ou your day in the sun.  Mike... sorry... can't do it brother.=0A =0AM:  I =
see.  =0A =0ASHORT PAUSE=0A =0AM:  And now, Matt, we end the interview like=
 we end all interviews, with the famous questionnaire written by some Frenc=
hman.  Tell us, what is you favorite word for breasts?=0A =0AM2:  Boobies. =
 It's got a roundness to it that lends itself to the body part.  Must be th=
ose to O's side by side.=0A =0AI:  What=92s your least favorite word that r=
hymes with chair?=0A =0AM2:  =C9clair.  Come on now... you translate that t=
asty treat out of French and you are eating LIGHTNING!!  What a waste of a =
name.=0A =0AM:  What turns you on more:  Jessica Alba in a kiddie pool fill=
ed with Jell-O or the fact that you have a much better health care system t=
han America?=0A =0AM2:  Health care 10 to 1.  As an independent contractor =
in every damn job I do... I rely on our health system since I'll never get =
actual health care benefits.  But... if I'm feeling healthy... what flavour=
 Jell-O?  =0A =0AI:  What turns ya off more:  Ron Jeremy in a kiddie pool f=
illed with Jell-O or the fact that Keanu Reeves has a career?=0A =0AM2:  I =
met Ron Jeremy at Just for Laughs in 2004 when performing with Evil Dead...=
 Keanu can win Oscars for all I care... just keep that kiddie pool full of =
hairy McLongman to yourself.  (You washed it before you gave it to Jessica =
right?)=0A =0AM:  What's your favorite word that you can't say on televisio=
n?=0A =0AM2:  I am a Canadian.  If it can't be said on television, then tho=
se words simply don't exist to us (until we use them on stage).  I guess in=
 honour of Scotty it would have to be Bitch.=0A =0AI:  What sound, noise, o=
r body function d=92ya love?=0A =0AM2:  I love the sound of a train in the =
distance and I think that the production of Penicillin by the pancreas is p=
retty sweet.=0A =0AI:  What sound or noise d=92ya hate more:  fingers on a =
blackboard or Celine Dion?=0A =0AM2:  Celine Dion.  Why... WHY does she kee=
p telling people she's Canadian?  Couldn't we stop with Mike Myers, John Ca=
ndy and Wayne Gretski to represent us?  ... even Shonia Twain is decent... =
but Celene... bah!=0A =0AM:  What legal or illegal drug would you like to h=
ave the corner on?=0A =0AM2:  Tylenol 3.  It's a pain killer!  No! It's a p=
arty drug!  Stop! You're both right!=0A =0AI:  What would ya do for a Klond=
ike bar?=0A =0AM2:  Shrug apathetically and say "Meh?"  (Not a big fan)=0A =
=0AM:  And finally, assuming, of course, Heaven exists, who do you think re=
ally deserves a good smiting right now?=0A =0AM2:  I'm not the vengeful god=
 type.  I would hand out some minor smiting to anyone who does a job that t=
rades morals for cash.  I do believe in karma though... so watch out!   I w=
ould also like to hand out a micro-smiting to anyone who has sold their dre=
ams for cash.  I see to many sad, dead-inside looking commuters.  "Bzzzzaaa=
p!  Wake up!  Do what you love... at least part time!"=0A =0AI:  And then s=
uddenly there was a car beepin=92 behind us, so we got a couple a Whoppers =
and drove off inta the night.  By the way, another reason we think Matt=92s=
 a higher life form:  He told us he=92d like ta see the show done with pupp=
ets for TV.  That gave me such a warm fuzzy.=0A =0AM:  And there you go.  C=
oming soon, an interview with the cast and maybe, if you=92re really lucky,=
 the writer and director of =0A =0AEVIL DEAD-THE MUSICAL=0AI:  Namaste.=0A =
=0AM:  And if you=92re at all interested in finding out about my recent dea=
th and revivification, please go to www.myspace.com/mikethelimeyandikethehi=
ck and read Reader Mail .47 and DC Comics Presents World Without a Mike.=0A=
 =0APAUSE=0A =0AI:  Whore whore whore.=0A=0A
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<html><head><style type=3D"text/css"><!-- DIV {margin:0px;} --></style></he=
ad><body><div style=3D"font-family:times new roman, new york, times, serif;=
font-size:12pt"><DIV>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">=
<B style=3D"mso-bidi-font-weight: normal">WARNING:<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacer=
un: yes">  </SPAN>THERE IS A SILENCE OF THE LAMBS MUSICAL.<SPAN style=
=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>AVOID IT<?xml:namespace prefix =3D o n=
s =3D "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p></B></P>=0A<P =
class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><B style=3D"mso-bidi-font-w=
eight: normal"><o:p> </o:p></B></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MA=
RGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">Mike: (English accent) Greetings and salutations.<SPAN s=
tyle=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>He=92s not Mike.</P>=0A<P class=3D=
MsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p> </o:p></P>=0A<P class=3D=
MsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">Ike: (English accent) He ain=92t Ik=
e, but we are both excited as a pedophile who=92s just discovered Yahoo mes=
senger.</P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p>&nbsp=
;</o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">M:<SPAN st=
yle=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Yes, dear friends, it is indeed a f=
rabjous day.</P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p>=
 </o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">I:<SP=
AN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Callooh!<SPAN style=3D"mso-spa=
cerun: yes">  </SPAN>Callay!</P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGI=
N: 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p> </o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGI=
N: 0in 0in 0pt">M:<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>For we ar=
e taking a trip to <?xml:namespace prefix =3D st1 ns =3D "urn:schemas-micro=
soft-com:office:smarttags" /><st1:City><st1:place>New York City</st1:place>=
</st1:City>.</P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p>=
 </o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">SALSA=
 FAN VOICES:<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN><st1:City><st1:=
place>NEW YORK CITY</st1:place></st1:City>?</P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal styl=
e=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p> </o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal styl=
e=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">I:<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN=
>That=92s right.<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Mike and Ik=
e are headin=92 for Broadway.<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPA=
N>Well, near Broadway</P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0=
pt"><o:p> </o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0=
pt">M:<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>And why are we headin=
g for near Broadway.</P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0p=
t"><o:p> </o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0p=
t">I:<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>I=92m glad you asked.<=
SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>We are headin=92 for near Br=
oadway because we got free tickets to</P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"M=
ARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p> </o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"M=
ARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: center" align=3Dcenter><SPAN style=3D"FONT-=
SIZE: 22pt; FONT-FAMILY: Chiller">EVIL DEAD-THE MUSICAL<o:p></o:p></SPAN></=
P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: center"=
 align=3Dcenter><SPAN style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 22pt; FONT-FAMILY: Chiller"><o:p>=
 </o:p></SPAN></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt=
">I:<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Can ya frakkin=92 belie=
ve it?<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>I get ta see dancin=
=92 zombies, I get ta see dismemberments, and I get peppy show tunes.<SPAN =
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>And I=92m getting=92 it all for f=
ree.</P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p> </=
o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">M:<SPAN style=
=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>And how did we get these free tickets,=
 Isaac?</P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p>&nbsp=
;</o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">I:<SPAN st=
yle=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Oh, it=92s quite simple, Michael.<S=
PAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>We are just too cool for our =
own egos.</P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p>&nb=
sp;</o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">M:<SPAN =
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>And we are passing the coolness a=
long to you, our faithful readers.<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  =
</SPAN>Not only will you soon be reading a review, as well as our take on t=
he <st1:State><st1:place>New York</st1:place></st1:State> theatre scene.</P=
>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p> </o:p></P=
>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">I:<SPAN style=3D"mso=
-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>It=92s a whole new group ta piss off.<SPAN st=
yle=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Can=92t wait.</P>=0A<P class=3DMsoN=
ormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p> </o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoN=
ormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">M:<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nb=
sp; </SPAN>We also have not one, but TWO very special interviews with the c=
ast and crew.</P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p=
> </o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">I:<S=
PAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Of a show that=92s playin=92 =
near Broadway.</P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><o:=
p> </o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">M:<=
SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Haven=92t we been banned fro=
m a couple of theatres around here that =93did not wish to be associated wi=
th our kind of humor?=94</P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0i=
n 0pt"><o:p> </o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0i=
n 0pt">I:<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Yes, we have.<o:p>=
</o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p> =
</o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">M:<SPAN sty=
le=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Didn=92t we get an email saying that=
 we =93owed the entire <st1:place>Northeastern Ohio</st1:place> theatre com=
munity an apology=94 for pretty much the same reason?</P>=0A<P class=3DMsoN=
ormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p> </o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoN=
ormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">I:<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nb=
sp; </SPAN>Yes, we did.</P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in=
 0pt"><o:p> </o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in=
 0pt">M:<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>And even after all =
THIS goodness, do we not have an interview with an actual movie star coming=
 up (Hint:<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>He was in Waiting=
 for Guffman)</P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p=
> </o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">I:<S=
PAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Yes, we do.</P>=0A<P class=3D=
MsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p> </o:p></P>=0A<P class=3D=
MsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">M:<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"=
>  </SPAN>Are we gloating?</P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN:=
 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p> </o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN:=
 0in 0in 0pt">I:<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Yes, we are=
.</P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p> </o:p=
></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">M:<SPAN style=3D=
"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Okay. <SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&=
nbsp;</SPAN>Just wanted to make sure.<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbs=
p; </SPAN>Our first </P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0p=
t"><o:p> </o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0p=
t; TEXT-ALIGN: center" align=3Dcenter><SPAN style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 22pt; FONT-=
FAMILY: Chiller">EVIL DEAD-THE MUSICAL<o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>=0A<P class=3DM=
soNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: center" align=3Dcenter><=
SPAN style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 22pt; FONT-FAMILY: Chiller"><o:p> </o:p></SPA=
N></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">M:<SPAN style=
=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>interview is with Matt Olmstead, who r=
uns the musical=92s official Myspace page.<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"=
>  </SPAN>The man=92s got over 33,000 friends on it, so he=92s got to =
be doing something right.</P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0=
in 0pt"><o:p> </o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0=
in 0pt">I:<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>In addition ta be=
in=92 the show=92s voice ta the fans, he played Scotty in every previous pr=
oduction of the show, he designed and constructed the special effects, prop=
s, and set, and built and operated several puppets (4 at one time apparentl=
y).<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>He=92s also a teacher, a=
 scientist, the owner of several large publishin=92 companies, a spy, and c=
urrent holder of the Miss Nude World title.<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes=
">  </SPAN></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><=
o:p> </o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">M=
:<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>For the <st1:State><st1:pl=
ace>New York</st1:place></st1:State> production, he is credited as Web Desi=
gner/Web promotions and (Oh, do I love this) Blood Delivery Systems Consult=
ant, with a man named Peter Higgins.<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp=
; </SPAN>We don=92t know who you are, sir, but you worked on this show, so =
we like you.</P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p>=
 </o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">I:<SP=
AN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>We caught up with Matt at his =
day job, workin=92 the drive-through at a Burger King in <st1:City><st1:pla=
ce>Toronto</st1:place></st1:City>.<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  =
</SPAN></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p>&nbsp=
;</o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">M:<SPAN st=
yle=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>There wasn=92t a line, so we were a=
ble to ask him a few questions.</P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN:=
 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p> </o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN:=
 0in 0in 0pt">FLASHBACK MUSIC</P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0=
in 0in 0pt"><o:p> </o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0=
in 0in 0pt">Matt:<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Welcome to=
 Burger King.<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>May I take you=
r order, please?</P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><=
o:p> </o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">M=
:<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Matt, it=92s Mike and Ike.=
</P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p> </o:p>=
</P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">M2:<SPAN style=3D=
"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Oh, hey, guys.<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun=
: yes">  </SPAN>We can do this until a car shows up.</P>=0A<P class=3D=
MsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p> </o:p></P>=0A<P class=3D=
MsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">I:<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"=
>  </SPAN>No prob.<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Okay=
, first question:<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>How bloody=
 is this thing?</P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><o=
:p> </o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">M2=
:<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>That=92s a trade secret.<S=
PAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Seriously . . . we swore ours=
elves to secrecy back in the day.<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  <=
/SPAN>.</P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">Lots is a =
very good answer though.</P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0i=
n 0pt">It's funny.  I have heard many different volumes of blood quote=
d in the media for our show... all wrong.  Only about 5 people ac=
tually know the numbers.  Of course, we use several TYPES of blood too=
... sticky blood to hit Ash in the face with the Blood Delivery System... r=
unny blood for the audience (stretches the budget and cleans out better)...=
 FX blood for adding wounds (it's a jelly like substance)... etc.</P>=0A<P =
class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p> </o:p></P>=0A<P =
class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">M:<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacer=
un: yes">  </SPAN>Matt continued to refuse our request for exact gallo=
nage until we agreed to a secret ceremony involving peyote, The O=92 Reilly=
 Factor, and genital mutilation.</P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN=
: 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p> </o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN=
: 0in 0in 0pt">I:<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>But we kno=
w.<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Oh, yes.<SPAN style=3D"ms=
o-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>We know.</P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D=
"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p> </o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D=
"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">M:<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Do =
you want to know?</P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">=
<o:p> </o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">=
I:<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Ask Matt.</P>=0A<P class=
=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p> </o:p></P>=0A<P class=
=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">FLASHBACK MUSIC</P>=0A<P class=
=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p> </o:p></P>=0A<P class=
=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">M:<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: y=
es">  </SPAN>When you were designing the special effects, did you stud=
y the Grand Guignol at all?</P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in=
 0in 0pt"><o:p> </o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in=
 0in 0pt">M2:<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>A very intelli=
gent person asked me that the other day.<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&=
nbsp; </SPAN>I never realized that we were reforming a 120 year old theatre=
 tradition.<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>We mainly did th=
e special effects by the seat of our pants.<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes=
">  </SPAN>There was a hardware store near the theatre that had to dea=
l with some pretty strange requests.<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp=
; </SPAN>Every day we=92d show up and go through their stockroom, asking fo=
r things that could squirt, spray, flap, spring and explode.<SPAN style=3D"=
mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>My basement ended up looking like a real m=
ad scientist=92s lair.</P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in =
0pt"><o:p> </o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in =
0pt">I:<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>How cool a song is W=
hat the F@$k was That?<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Cause=
 it=92s the coolest song title in history.</P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=
=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p> </o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=
=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">M2:<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN=
>It=92s really cool.<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>It=92s =
Ash and Scotty trying to figure out what=92s going on and what to do next.<=
SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>It hits you right out of a v=
ery dramatic moment in the show where the energy is really high then WHAMMO=
!<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>they=92re singing this cra=
zy song about disbelief and escape and the ridiculousness of the whole situ=
ation.<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>It gets better from t=
here . . . there=92s some tango in there and there=92s a grand tri-tette=97=
Is that a word?</P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><o=
:p> </o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">I:=
<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>What=92s it mean?</P>=0A<P =
class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p> </o:p></P>=0A<P =
class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">M2:<SPAN style=3D"mso-space=
run: yes">  </SPAN>It=92s a duet plus one, with Ash, Scotty, and Demon=
 Cheryl.</P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p>&nbs=
p;</o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">I:<SPAN s=
tyle=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Works for me.</P>=0A<P class=3DMso=
Normal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p> </o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMso=
Normal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">M2:<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&=
nbsp; </SPAN>It was a bit scary doing the show for an audience for the firs=
t time because of all the swearing.<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> =
 </SPAN>Scotty has a real sailor mouth, and says some very VERY racy things=
.<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>We wondered if that would =
kill the show before it even got started, but the audience LOVED it.<SPAN s=
tyle=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>People got in trouble for singing =
the song at work.<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>My brother=
 got sent home from school for wearing a t-shirt with =93What the F@$k was =
That=94 on it (We sold them during our second run).<SPAN style=3D"mso-space=
run: yes">  </SPAN>It was a hit.</P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"M=
ARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p> </o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"M=
ARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">M:<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>When =
did you know you had the audience?</P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARG=
IN: 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p> </o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARG=
IN: 0in 0in 0pt">M2:<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN><I styl=
e=3D"mso-bidi-font-style: normal">I </I>knew we had them when the whole hou=
se broke out in laughter after the third repetition of "What a stupid bitch=
!"  (I know... but it's funny in context) and started hooting and holl=
ering.   The show as a whole knew we had them when the cabin came=
 alive for the first time and the crowd went just as insane as Ash.  B=
y the end of act 1 we knew we had a great show.<o:p></o:p></P>=0A<P class=
=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"> Of course this was all on =
the 2nd night of the show as the first night was performed outside during t=
he blackout and all rules were out the door (along with the set, puppe=
ts and band...)<o:p></o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN:=
 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p> </o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN:=
 0in 0in 0pt">M:<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Wait a minu=
te.<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>You did a show during th=
e East coast blackout?</P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in =
0pt"><o:p> </o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in =
0pt">M2:<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Yeah.  Our ope=
ning night performance was <st1:date Month=3D"8" Day=3D"14" Year=3D"2003">A=
ugust 14 2003</st1:date>.  <o:p></o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal=
 style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">We hauled what we could of the set out onto =
the lawn of the theatre and set up shop under a tree.  The show starte=
d at dusk lit by candles, flashlights and car headlights.  The band wa=
s a ragtag trio of our sound designer on a snare drum, our keyboardist on a=
 borrowed micro-cassio running on 4 D-cells, and our guitarist on the theat=
re's back room acoustic that fell out of tune by the end of each song.<o:p>=
</o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"> We ro=
amed the neighborhood yelling that we were doing a show and lo and behold 3=
50 people showed up.  That was our audience until a year later in <st1=
:City><st1:place>Montreal</st1:place></st1:City>.<o:p></o:p></P>=0A<P class=
=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"> By the time the zombies st=
arted popping up, getting killed and popping up again it was fully dark and=
 CREEPY!  A zombie musical in a silent city.  Perfection.<o:p></o=
:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"> When the=
 blackout actually occurred I was 25 feet above the stage fixing our giant =
Necronomicon (that opened and closed to display pages of the text during th=
e show) and I just about broke my neck getting off that ladder while bitter=
ly yelling at our lighting designer Gareth to turn the lights back on.<o:p>=
</o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"> We go=
t a good amount of press for our "Show must go on" attitude, and the rest i=
s history... in the making.<o:p></o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"=
MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">I did have my greatest ever theatre line during that s=
how.  All the cast members looked at me like I was crazy as I climbed =
a large tree in the middle of our impromptu play space in front of the thea=
tre in the middle of our big opening song and dance number "Cabin in the wo=
ods".<o:p></o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">T=
hey realized what I was up to when my lyrics came up<o:p></o:p></P>=0A<P cl=
ass=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><EM>"In a few hours you will =
see me</EM><o:p></o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in =
0pt"><EM>doing the nasty in a Tree!"</EM><o:p></o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNo=
rmal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">As I humped a large tree branch, swung d=
own to the ground with one arm, and joined in the dancing like it was all c=
horeographed.</P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p=
> </o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">M:<S=
PAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>What happens when things just=
 don=92t go right during the show, or has it been blessed?</P>=0A<P class=
=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p> </o:p></P>=0A<P class=
=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">M2:<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: =
yes">  </SPAN>This show has never been blessed with anything except a =
great concept and a lot of people who are unwilling to give up on it. =
 We have faced blackouts, strange reviews, crazy audience members (REALLY C=
RAZY sometimes), broken props, broken actors, blood failures, lighting and =
sound breakdowns, and more blood-fried mics than I can count.  However=
 there's always been a core group that simply steps up and gets something t=
o work before that curtain has to open again.<o:p></o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DM=
soNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"> I have walked on stage as the =
curtain opens on the show while handing a drill off to an assistant stage m=
anager.  I have picked breakable glass out of my face.  It's not =
about how bad things get... it's about how good we make it in spite of the =
disasters.<o:p></o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0=
pt"> Personally... I LOVE the challenge.  Whenever a directo=
r said "I wish we could do X, but it's impossible" I would try to have it w=
orking in 2 days.<o:p></o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0i=
n 0in 0pt"> </P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">=
I:<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>This is my next most impo=
rtant question, after the blood one:<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp=
; </SPAN>How hot are the zombie chicks?</P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D=
"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p> </o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D=
"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">M2:<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Ve=
ry very hot.  George and Chris like to mention that they are the minor=
ity in this case.  Straight guys writing and producing Musical theatre=
.  They also want to hit a much stronger male market with this show an=
d they have cast some very fine looking ladies to get all bloodied up on st=
age.  The female characters also have different styles... sexbomb Shel=
ly, nerdy but cute sister Cheryl and perky Linda.  It's like Charlie's=
 Angels style zombies.<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>That =
sounds like fun.  Evil Dead vs. Charlie's Angels!</P>=0A<P class=3DMso=
Normal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p> </o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMso=
Normal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">I:<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&n=
bsp; </SPAN>If it were porn, I=92d watch it.<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: ye=
s">  </SPAN>By the way, how come we ain=92t been in your top Myspace f=
riends yet?<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>We sold tickets,=
 man!</P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p> <=
/o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">M2:<SPAN sty=
le=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>I get this a lot... have you ever tr=
ied to find ONE specific person amongst 33,000 friends to put them on that =
list?  I do have a system now for finding people so... I may just give=
 you your day in the sun.  Mike... sorry... can't do it brother.</P>=
=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p> </o:p></P>=
=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">M:<SPAN style=3D"mso-=
spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>I see.<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> =
 </SPAN></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p>&nbs=
p;</o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">SHORT PAU=
SE</P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p> </o:=
p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">M:<SPAN style=
=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>And now, Matt, we end the interview li=
ke we end all interviews, with the famous questionnaire written by some Fre=
nchman.<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Tell us, what is you=
 favorite word for breasts?</P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in=
 0in 0pt"><o:p> </o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in=
 0in 0pt">M2:<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Boobies. =
 It's got a roundness to it that lends itself to the body part.  Must =
be those to O's side by side.</P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0=
in 0in 0pt"><o:p> </o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0=
in 0in 0pt">I:<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>What=92s your=
 least favorite word that rhymes with chair?</P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal sty=
le=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"> <o:p></o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal sty=
le=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">M2:<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SP=
AN>=C9clair.  Come on now... you translate that tasty treat out of Fre=
nch and you are eating LIGHTNING!!  What a waste of a name.<o:p></o:p>=
</P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"> <o:p></o:p>=
</P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">M:<SPAN style=3D"=
mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>What turns you on more:  Jessica Alba=
 in a kiddie pool filled with Jell-O or the fact that you have a much bette=
r health care system than <st1:country-region><st1:place>America</st1:place=
></st1:country-region>?<o:p></o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARG=
IN: 0in 0in 0pt"> <o:p></o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARG=
IN: 0in 0in 0pt">M2:<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Health =
care 10 to 1.  As an independent contractor in every damn job I do... =
I rely on our health system since I'll never get actual health care benefit=
s.  But... if I'm feeling healthy... what flavour Jell-O?  <o:p><=
/o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"> <o:p><=
/o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">I:<SPAN styl=
e=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>What turns ya off more:  Ron Jer=
emy in a kiddie pool filled with Jell-O or the fact that Keanu Reeves has a=
 career?<o:p></o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt=
"> <o:p></o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt=
">M2:<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>I met Ron Jeremy at Ju=
st for Laughs in 2004 when performing with Evil Dead... Keanu can win Oscar=
s for all I care... just keep that kiddie pool full of hairy McLongman=
 to yourself.  (You washed it before you gave it to Jessica right?)<o:=
p></o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"> <o:=
p></o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">M:<SPAN s=
tyle=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>What's your favorite word that you=
 can't say on television?<o:p></o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MA=
RGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"> <o:p></o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MA=
RGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">M2:<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>I am =
a Canadian.  If it can't be said on television, then those words simpl=
y don't exist to us (until we use them on stage).  I guess in honour o=
f Scotty it would have to be Bitch.<o:p></o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal s=
tyle=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"> <o:p></o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal s=
tyle=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">I:<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </S=
PAN>What sound, noise, or body function d=92ya love?<o:p></o:p></P>=0A<P cl=
ass=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"> <o:p></o:p></P>=0A<P cl=
ass=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">M2:<SPAN style=3D"mso-spaceru=
n: yes">  </SPAN>I love the sound of a train in the distance and I thi=
nk that the production of Penicillin by the pancreas is pretty sweet.<o:p><=
/o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"> <o:p><=
/o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">I:<SPAN styl=
e=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>What sound or noise d=92ya hate more:=
  fingers on a blackboard or Celine Dion?<o:p></o:p></P>=0A<P class=3D=
MsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"> <o:p></o:p></P>=0A<P class=3D=
MsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">M2:<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes=
">  </SPAN>Celine Dion.  Why... WHY does she keep telling people =
she's Canadian?  Couldn't we stop with Mike Myers, John Candy and Wayn=
e Gretski to represent us?  ... even Shonia Twain is decent... but Cel=
ene... bah!<o:p></o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in =
0pt"> <o:p></o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in =
0pt">M:<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>What legal or illega=
l drug would you like to have the corner on?<o:p></o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMs=
oNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"> <o:p></o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMs=
oNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">M2:<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">=
  </SPAN>Tylenol 3.  It's a pain killer!  No! It's a party d=
rug!  Stop! You're both right!<o:p></o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal s=
tyle=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"> <o:p></o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal s=
tyle=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">I:<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </S=
PAN>What would ya do for a <st1:place>Klondike</st1:place> bar?<o:p></o:p><=
/P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"> <o:p></o:p><=
/P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">M2:<SPAN style=3D"=
mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Shrug apathetically and say "Meh?"<SPAN st=
yle=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>(Not a big fan)<o:p></o:p></P>=0A<P=
 class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"> <o:p></o:p></P>=0A<P=
 class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">M:<SPAN style=3D"mso-space=
run: yes">  </SPAN>And finally, assuming, of course, Heaven exists, wh=
o do you think really deserves a good smiting right now?<o:p></o:p></P>=0A<=
P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"> <o:p></o:p></P>=0A<=
P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">M2:<SPAN style=3D"mso-spa=
cerun: yes">  </SPAN>I'm not the vengeful god type.  I would hand=
 out some minor smiting to anyone who does a job that trades morals for cas=
h.  I do believe in karma though... so watch out!   I would =
also like to hand out a micro-smiting to anyone who has sold their dreams f=
or cash.  I see to many sad, dead-inside looking commuters. =
 "Bzzzzaaap!  Wake up!  Do what you love... at least part time!"<=
/P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p> </o:p><=
/P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">I:<SPAN style=3D"m=
so-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>And then suddenly there was a car beepin=92=
 behind us, so we got a couple a Whoppers and drove off inta the night.<SPA=
N style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>By the way, another reason we t=
hink Matt=92s a higher life form:<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  <=
/SPAN>He told us he=92d like ta see the show done with puppets for TV.<SPAN=
 style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>That gave me such a warm fuzzy.<=
/P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p> </o:p><=
/P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">M:<SPAN style=3D"m=
so-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>And there you go.<SPAN style=3D"mso-spaceru=
n: yes">  </SPAN>Coming soon, an interview with the cast and maybe, if=
 you=92re really lucky, the writer and director of </P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNor=
mal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p> </o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNor=
mal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: center" align=3Dcenter><SPAN =
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 22pt; FONT-FAMILY: Chiller">EVIL DEAD-THE MUSICAL<o:p><=
/o:p></SPAN></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">I:<SP=
AN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Namaste.</P>=0A<P class=3DMsoN=
ormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p> </o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoN=
ormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">M:<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nb=
sp; </SPAN>And if you=92re at all interested in finding out about my recent=
 death and revivification, please go to <A href=3D"http://www.myspace.com/m=
ikethelimeyandikethehick"><FONT color=3D#0000ff>www.myspace.com/mikethelime=
yandikethehick</FONT></A> and read Reader Mail .47 and DC Comics Presents W=
orld Without a Mike.</P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0p=
t"><o:p> </o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0p=
t">PAUSE</P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p>&nbs=
p;</o:p></P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">I:<SPAN s=
tyle=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Whore whore whore.</P>=0A<P class=
=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p> </o:p></P>=0A<P class=
=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p> </o:p></P>=0A<P class=
=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><B style=3D"mso-bidi-font-weight=
: normal"><SPAN style=3D"FONT-FAMILY: Chiller"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></B>=
</P>=0A<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p> </o:p>=
</P></DIV></div><br></body></html>
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