[NEohioPAL] A Christmas Present From Mike & Ike

[Jeff Holland]

WARNING:  THEY HAVEN'T CHANGED AT ALL
   
  Mike: (English accent) Theatre was dead, to begin with.
   
  Ike: (Southern accent) There is no doubt whatever about that.  The-ater was dead.
   
  M:  This must be distinctly understood, or nothing wonderful can come of the story I am about to relate.  I must repeat, theater was thoroughly, unequivocally and irrevocably dead.
   
  I:  To paraphrase the old song, it was not only badly done
   
  M&I: (Together) It was really often sadly done!
   
  PAUSE
   
  I:  So how many people ya think we just pissed off?
   
  M:  Oh, I think that hit just about everybody.
   
  I:  Rock on, brother man!  And there it is.
   
  M:  The click?
   
  I:  The warm fuzzy.
   
  M:  Even better.  Greetings and salutations.  He's not Mike.
   
  I:  He ain't Ike.  Well, dear friends, it has been awhile.  We hope at least one more person than Fred missed us and, before we begin our regularly scheduled review, we just have one thing we'd just like to say:  Candelabra?
   
  M&I: (Together) Oy.
   
  M:  So last week we started the holiday season in our usual way--
   
  I:  By smokin' a crapload a Tunisian Thalamus Thrasher and watchin' Nightmare Before Christmas.
   
  M:  And after that we went to opening night of Jacob Marley's Christmas Carol, which is playing at the First Grace United Church of Christ in Akron.
   
  I:  Okay, so most of the time, we walk out of a play around here thinkin,' "Well, that wasn't so mediocre."  More often than we'd like, we walk out thinkin,' "Sweet Merciful God, kill me now and end the pain."
   
  M:  But once in awhile, like last Friday, we walk out unable to think at all.
   
  I:  I'd throw in an insult here but the limey's tellin' the truth.  Every so often we see a show that would blow our collective minds even if we weren't on drugs.  Shows that are just so frakkin' good they actually make up for everything else.  Cain't Park's Bat Boy did that, so did the first time we saw Sweeney Todd.
   
  M:  I so cannot wait for that movie.
   
  I:  And, of course, there is THE GREATEST PIECE OF ENTERTAINMENT IN THE HISTORY OF HISTORY PERIOD Evil Dead-The Musical.
   
  M:  Jacob Marley's Christmas Carol joins that list.  As sappy as this sounds, but this is coming from us, so it should mean something, this play is two hours that you will remember for the rest of your lives.  The script by Tom Mula is a brilliant revision of Dickens' story.  It's funny, it's scary, it's a bit odd, but, above all, it's emotional.  
   
  I:  We actually saw people cryin' durin' the show.  When was the last time ya actually saw somethin' that moved ya?  That alone is worth the ten bucks or whatever ya can pay.  Yeah, ya read that right.
   
  M:  The play is written in the style of "story theatre," which means the actors don't just act it, they describe it as well.  They are telling us a story. It's certainly not something that most theatre audiences are used to, and it is a glorious thing.  The four actors, using only a few costume pieces--mostly their voices and bodies, portray 16 characters throughout the show, as well as themselves.  It was quite impressive to watch them slip in and out of various people, especially Ronald Hoff, Jr who, at one point, leaves the stage as one character, about a minute later comes back on a different character, and you totally buy it.
   
  I:  Hoff, Jr., Toni Clair, and Dan Camburn are just amazin.'  Ya don't see this kinda chemistry often.
   
  M:  And it is a glorious thing.
   
  I:  Seriously, folks, ya need ta see this thing.  A few lamps, a couple a scarves, a couple a hats, a cane and a coat, and three frakkin' amazin' actors and ya got magic.
   
  PAUSE
   
  M:  Oh yes, Jeff Holland is the fourth actor in the show.
   
  I:  We still think he's a tall, bald douchewaddle, but he actually almost doesn't suck in this.
   
  M:  There's a Christmas miracle for you.
   
  M&I: (Together) Happy Holidays.

       
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