[NEohioPAL] A Mike & Ike "Satirical" Audition Notice (Seriously)

[Jeff Holland]

WARNING:  THE FOLLOWING AUDITION NOTICE WILL OFFEND OR BORE SOMEONE.  WILL IT BE YOU?  OR YOU?  OR YOU?
 
Mike: (English accent) Greetings and salutations.  He's not Mike.
 
Ike: (Southern accent) He ain't Ike.  Okay, Seatopians, here's the skinny.  We're shootin' a five minute horror flick.  It's gonna be part of a larger flick.  One character, female, somewhere in her 30's-40's.  This is one kick in the balls monologue.
 
M:  It's already made four people cry and completely freaked out seven.
 
I:  You will be going to a very dark place.  The ability ta have an emotional breakdown on cue is essential.  No pay.
 
M:  You've got to be kidding me!  You know how intense our script is.  You cannot possibly expect them to go through the sheer emotional hell this role will bring without giving them something!  Our words will forever shatter this woman's soul and make her cringe at the sight of her own children.  She needs at least five bucks!
 
I:  Where we gonna get it?
 
M:  Oh yeah!  We're not getting paid either.
 
I:  Riiiight.
 
M:  Sorry.  I am really high.
 
I:  Riiiight.
 
M:  If you're interested, please videotape yourself having a complete breakdown--We don't care what it's about; we just want to see you lose it--and send it to mikethelimeyandikethehick at yahoo.com by midnight, Monday May 4th.  If you're not interested, you just wasted a moment or two of your life and that amuses us.
 
I:  Namaste.
 
M:  P.S.  We're not joking . . . much


      
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