[NEohioPAL] A Mike & Ike "Satirical" review of Lakeland Community College's Private Lives

[Jeff Holland]

WARNING:  THE FOLLOWING REVIEW CONTAINS SOME STRONG LANGUAGE AND IS NOT FIT FOR CHILDREN, CRITICS, OR NOEL COWARD FANS
 
Mike: (English accent) Greetings and salutations.  He's not Mike.
 
Ike: (Southern accent) He ain't Ike.  
 
M:  Private Lives was written in 1930, a happier time when it was not only socially acceptable but desired to be a...oh, what's the word I'm looking for?
 
I:  DOUCHEBAG!
 
M:  That's it!  It concerns two couples, who are all wealthy, witty, charming, smart, urbane, and who spend most of their time talking incessantly about how wealthy, witty, charming, smart, and urbane they are.  Two of the four were previously married, but they got divorced some years ago when they realized just how
 
I:  DOUCHEBAGGY!
 
M:  they are.  They have since moved on to other
 
I:  DOUCHEBAGS!
 
M:  And in a contrivance that can only be found in theatre and bad sit-coms, they are honeymooning at the same hotel, on the same floor, in rooms right next to each other.
 
I:  Can ya see where this is goin'?
 
M:  Long story short: Private Lives is nothing but two hours of quips and domestic abuse.
 
I:  There are moments that make this look like the "funny" version of Extremities.
 
M:  As you can probably tell, we're not real big fans of the script.
 
I:  I get enough uppity English asshole-ism hangin' out with him.
 
SHORT PAUSE
 
M:  I'm going to kill you later.
 
I:  You're gonna try.
 
M:  The four characters really are unpleasant people doing unpleasant things.
 
I:  And yet we laughed.  A lot.  We didn't want ta, but we couldn't help it.
 
M:  And that is ENTIRELY because of the tremendously talented cast that director Martin Friedman has assembled. Sebastian Orr and Emily Pucell's chemistry together as the lead 
 
I:  DOUCHEBAGS!
 
M:  is amazing.
 
I:  If someone was gonna remake The Thin Man (And considering EVERYTHING'S gettin' remade, it's only a matter a time) these two should be cast immediately. It's like they're channelin' WIlliam Powell and Myrna Loy.
 
M:  Allison Bencar and Joshua D. Brown are equally outstanding as their replacement 
 
I:  DOUCHEBAGS!
 
M:  And when all four of them are on stage together (Which sadly, only happens at the end) there's enough electricity on stage to fry a couple of serial killers.
 
I:  There's more.  We wanna give special kudos ta Christina Dennis, who pretty much steals every scene she's in durin' the third act as a bitchy French maid.  If ya don't speak French, ya can pretty much guess what she's sayin.'  If ya do, you're gonna love her even more.
 
M:  Private Lives runs for three week-ends so if you're a Noel Coward fan (Though God knows why you would be) you couldn't ask for a better production. If you're not, see it anyway. 
 
I:  This cast is so good you'll like it in spite of yourself.
 
M:  And itself.
 
I:  Namaste.


      
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