Joseph Bauer joeybauer1967 at gmail.com
Tue Dec 26 02:50:49 PST 2017

The collected works of native Cleveland author, Joey Bauer, are available
on Amazon kindle. Treat yourself to some of the best legal fun that you can
have with your clothes on.

"Hollywood Raw" - a raunchy memoir - Movie stars caught with their pants
down; teen idol tells all; "Married with Children" exposed ... Featured on
the Montel Williams Show … “This book has everyone talking.”

“Occupation Wiseguy” – a novel – A college boy is tapped by a greatly
feared Mafioso to write his biography. It was a good day for a murder.
Based on the true story of the Cleveland mob, their very good New York
friends and the kid who blew the house down

"Skating Hollywood Blvd." - five plays about life in the Hollywood fast
lane. "The biggest dreamers of all are drawn to Tinseltown like moths to a
flame. Every guy you meet there has a headshot, a screenplay and a fantasy:
scores the Porsche, wins the Oscar and pulls mad freaky starlet puss."

"Mendy Berry, Jewish Cowboy" - a play - Baby boomers Mendy and Chunky, his
black-and-proud sidekick, pledged loyalty until the end, and this is it. As
kids, they found sanctuary from abusive fathers, ruthless bullies and
poverty at their neighborhood movie house. For Mendy, the matinee never
ended, but, for Chunky, it ended way too soon.

 "Two Old Jews walk in a Deli" - a play - "You don't have to be Jewish to
love matzo ball soup, but it wouldn't hurt." The story of two pals, corned
beef, Viagra and a hot waitress with a big secret. Based on a true story
set to “Hava Nagila” and “Coney Island Baby” by the Excellents, ’62.

"Two Guys from Cleveland" - a novel - Best pals fall for the same girl, who
offers them a timeshare. She marries one of them, but still itches for his
sidekick. When she starts scratching, things get crazy. Based on a true
story set to those smokin’ ‘50’s golden oldies and “Beer Barrel Polka” by
Frankie Yankovic.

"Cue the Sunset" - a play - Two Bronx boys have champagne tastes and
Kool-Aid budgets. They set out to seek glamour, glory and gold with a
liquor store cashier, the cops, a gun and Fate awaiting them at day's end.
Based on a true story set to raw gangster rap.

“Buckeye by Choice” – a play – A wide-eyed and bi-curious OSU freshman
super fan encounters his gridiron hero in the shower, and things get sticky.

“Look who’s calling somebody Crazy” – a play – A Hollywood tourist is
hearing voices in his head. Meet the *speakers*: Neon, a notorious rapper;
Cha Cha, a sizzling actress; and Big Baller, a porn flick producer. They
have invited you to a no-rules cage match called group therapy.

“Menage a Trois” – a play – A sex-starved lesbian, a Manhattan socialite
and a chauvinistic macho womanizer are bound together for eternity in Hades
and learn that hell is other people. When their skeletons come out of the
closet to dance with them, it’s a devilishly decant party, and the
damnedest things happen.
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