[NEohioPAL] HOT SUMMER READS

[Joseph Bauer]

The collected works of Cleveland author, Joey Bauer, are now available on
kindle.  You’ll laugh … You’ll cry … You’ll cheer …



"Hollywood Raw" - a raunchy memoir - Movie stars caught with their pants
down; teen idol tells all; "Married with Children" exposed ... Featured on
the Montel Williams Show … “This book has everyone talking.”



"Two Old Jews walk in a Deli" - a play - "You don't have to be Jewish to
love matzo ball soup, but it wouldn't hurt." The story of two pals, corned
beef, Viagra and a hot waitress with a big secret. Based on a true story
set to “Hava Nagila” and “Coney Island Baby” by the Excellents, ’62.



“Occupation Wiseguy” – a novel – A college boy is tapped by a greatly
feared Mafioso to write his biography. It was a good day for a murder.
Based on the true story of the Cleveland mob, their very good New York
friends and the kid who blew the house down.



"Teen Angels" - a play/screenplay – Kids at juvenile hall and an ally fight
the power. Only the strong survive. Meet the collateral damage, the boys
and girls who might have been you or yours. Their pain has a long shelf
life, and it demands to be felt. Based on a true story set to raw gangster
rap and “Those Oldies but Goodies” by Little Caesar & the Romans.



“Pals” – a screenplay - A brassy waitress referees, as two life-long
buddies, now in their 70’s, battle over an estate fairly, until the gloves
come off and sparks fly.



"Skating Hollywood Blvd." - five plays about life in the Hollywood fast
lane. "The biggest dreamers of all are drawn to Tinseltown like moths to a
flame. Every guy you meet there has a headshot, a screenplay and a fantasy:
scores the Porsche, wins the Oscar and pulls mad freaky starlet puss."
Based on true stories set to “Say Goodbye to Hollywood” by Ronnie Spector.



"Mendy Berry, Jewish Cowboy" - a play - Baby boomers Mendy and Chunky, his
black-and-proud sidekick, pledged loyalty until the end, and this is it. As
kids, they found sanctuary from abusive fathers, ruthless bullies and
poverty at their neighborhood movie house. For Mendy, the matinee never
ended, but, for Chunky, it ended way too soon.





"Two Guys from Cleveland" - a novel - Best pals fall for the same girl, who
offers them a timeshare. She marries one of them, but still itches for his
sidekick. When she starts scratching, things get crazy. Based on a true
story set to those smokin’ ‘50’s golden oldies and “Beer Barrel Polka” by
Frankie Yankovic.



"Cue the Sunset" - a play - Two Bronx boys have champagne tastes and
Kool-Aid budgets. They set out to seek glamour, glory and gold with a
liquor store cashier, the cops, a gun and Fate awaiting them at day's end.
Based on a true story set to raw gangster rap.



“Buckeye by Choice” – a play – A wide-eyed and bi-curious OSU freshman
super fan encounters his gridiron hero in the shower, and things get
sticky.



“Look who’s calling somebody Crazy” – a play – A Hollywood tourist is
hearing voices in his head. Meet the *speakers*: Neon, a notorious rapper;
Cha Cha, a sizzling actress; and Big Baller, a porn flick producer. They
have invited you to a no-rules cage match called group therapy.



“Menage a Trois” – a full play – A sex-starved lesbian, a Manhattan
socialite and a chauvinistic womanizer are bound together for eternity in
Hades and learn that hell is other people. When their skeletons come out of
the closet to dance with them, it’s a devilishly decadent party, and the
damnedest things happen.



“Blast from the Past” – a play in one act – An egotistical uber-teen star
with a skeleton in his closet tells all to the wrong journalist.



“Destiny” – a play in one act – A very troubled guy pours his heart out to
a bartender, telling about the love of his life, who turns out to be a
femme fatal.
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