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style="FONT-FAMILY: ; BACKGROUND-IMAGE: none; BACKGROUND-REPEAT: repeat; BACKGROUND-ATTACHMENT: scroll; BACKGROUND-POSITION: 0% 0%; mso-bidi-font-family: arial"><FONT
face=Georgia>No, not everyone’s a critic</FONT></SPAN></B></P>
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style="BACKGROUND: white; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: normal"
align=center><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: ; BACKGROUND-IMAGE: none; BACKGROUND-REPEAT: repeat; BACKGROUND-ATTACHMENT: scroll; BACKGROUND-POSITION: 0% 0%; mso-bidi-font-family: arial"><FONT
face=Georgia></FONT></SPAN></B> </P>
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style="BACKGROUND: white; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: normal"
align=center><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: ; BACKGROUND-IMAGE: none; BACKGROUND-REPEAT: repeat; BACKGROUND-ATTACHMENT: scroll; BACKGROUND-POSITION: 0% 0%; mso-bidi-font-family: arial"><FONT
face=Georgia>By Bob Abelman </FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal
style="BACKGROUND: white; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: normal"><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: ; BACKGROUND-IMAGE: none; BACKGROUND-REPEAT: repeat; BACKGROUND-ATTACHMENT: scroll; BACKGROUND-POSITION: 0% 0%; mso-bidi-font-family: arial"><FONT
face=Georgia></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=MsoNormal
style="VERTICAL-ALIGN: baseline; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: normal; mso-outline-level: 1"><FONT
face=Georgia><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: ; BACKGROUND-IMAGE: none; BACKGROUND-REPEAT: repeat; BACKGROUND-ATTACHMENT: scroll; BACKGROUND-POSITION: 0% 0%; COLOR: "><FONT
color=#212529>I am and have always been a fan of the </FONT></SPAN><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: ; BACKGROUND-IMAGE: none; BACKGROUND-REPEAT: repeat; BACKGROUND-ATTACHMENT: scroll; BACKGROUND-POSITION: 0% 0%; mso-bidi-font-family: arial">Chagrin
Documentary Film Festival.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>But I
have to admit to being concerned when it was announced that organizers of this
year’s festival are offering patrons an opportunity to host their own private
watch parties </SPAN><SPAN
style='FONT-FAMILY: ; COLOR: ; mso-bidi-font-family: arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"'><FONT
color=#222222>– </FONT></SPAN><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: ; BACKGROUND-IMAGE: none; BACKGROUND-REPEAT: repeat; BACKGROUND-ATTACHMENT: scroll; BACKGROUND-POSITION: 0% 0%; mso-bidi-font-family: arial">called
“</SPAN><SPAN
style='FONT-FAMILY: ; COLOR: ; mso-bidi-font-family: arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"'><FONT
color=#222222>Everyone's a Critic” – as a fundraiser.</FONT></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal
style="VERTICAL-ALIGN: baseline; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: normal; mso-outline-level: 1"><SPAN
style='FONT-FAMILY: ; COLOR: ; mso-bidi-font-family: arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"'><FONT
color=#222222 face=Georgia></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=MsoNormal
style="VERTICAL-ALIGN: baseline; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: normal; mso-outline-level: 1"><FONT
face=Georgia><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: ; BACKGROUND-IMAGE: none; BACKGROUND-REPEAT: repeat; BACKGROUND-ATTACHMENT: scroll; BACKGROUND-POSITION: 0% 0%; COLOR: "><FONT
color=#212529>During the month of May, p</FONT></SPAN><SPAN
style='FONT-FAMILY: ; COLOR: ; mso-bidi-font-family: arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"'><FONT
color=#222222>articipants get to watch </FONT></SPAN><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: ; BACKGROUND-IMAGE: none; BACKGROUND-REPEAT: repeat; BACKGROUND-ATTACHMENT: scroll; BACKGROUND-POSITION: 0% 0%; COLOR: "><FONT
color=#212529>5 short documentaries with their invited guests, critique the
films, and select one to be included in this year’s 12th annual festival, which
runs from</FONT></SPAN><SPAN
style='BORDER-TOP: windowtext 1pt; FONT-FAMILY: ; BORDER-RIGHT: windowtext 1pt; BORDER-BOTTOM: windowtext 1pt; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0in; PADDING-TOP: 0in; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BORDER-LEFT: windowtext 1pt; PADDING-RIGHT: 0in; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-family: arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0in; mso-font-kerning: 18.0pt'>
October 5-10.</SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal
style="VERTICAL-ALIGN: baseline; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: normal; mso-outline-level: 1"><SPAN
style='BORDER-TOP: windowtext 1pt; FONT-FAMILY: ; BORDER-RIGHT: windowtext 1pt; BORDER-BOTTOM: windowtext 1pt; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0in; PADDING-TOP: 0in; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BORDER-LEFT: windowtext 1pt; PADDING-RIGHT: 0in; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-family: arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0in; mso-font-kerning: 18.0pt'><FONT
face=Georgia></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=MsoNormal
style="VERTICAL-ALIGN: baseline; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: normal; mso-outline-level: 1"><FONT
face=Georgia><SPAN
style='BORDER-TOP: windowtext 1pt; FONT-FAMILY: ; BORDER-RIGHT: windowtext 1pt; BORDER-BOTTOM: windowtext 1pt; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0in; PADDING-TOP: 0in; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BORDER-LEFT: windowtext 1pt; PADDING-RIGHT: 0in; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-family: arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0in; mso-font-kerning: 18.0pt'>In
truth, not everyone’s a critic.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>But
they can be with the investment of some sweat equity and by closely following
the 3-step process I have rigorously garnered from my many years serving as the
critic for the <I style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal">Chagrin Valley Times</I>,
<I style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal">News-Herald</I> and <I
style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal">Cleveland Jewish News</I>.<SPAN
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>I’ve been recognized as the “Best Critic
in Ohio” by the Associated Press, which is something neither the famous
</SPAN><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: ; BACKGROUND-IMAGE: none; BACKGROUND-REPEAT: repeat; BACKGROUND-ATTACHMENT: scroll; BACKGROUND-POSITION: 0% 0%; COLOR: "><FONT
color=#212529>Siskel & Ebert can claim. <SPAN
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>But only because they </FONT></SPAN><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: ; BACKGROUND-IMAGE: none; BACKGROUND-REPEAT: repeat; BACKGROUND-ATTACHMENT: scroll; BACKGROUND-POSITION: 0% 0%">worked
in Chicago.</SPAN></FONT><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: ; BACKGROUND-IMAGE: none; BACKGROUND-REPEAT: repeat; BACKGROUND-ATTACHMENT: scroll; BACKGROUND-POSITION: 0% 0%; mso-bidi-font-family: arial"></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal
style="VERTICAL-ALIGN: baseline; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: normal; mso-outline-level: 1"><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: ; BACKGROUND-IMAGE: none; BACKGROUND-REPEAT: repeat; BACKGROUND-ATTACHMENT: scroll; BACKGROUND-POSITION: 0% 0%; COLOR: ; mso-bidi-font-family: arial"><FONT
color=#4d5156 face=Georgia></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=MsoNormal
style="VERTICAL-ALIGN: baseline; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: normal; mso-outline-level: 1"><FONT
face=Georgia><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: ; BACKGROUND-IMAGE: none; BACKGROUND-REPEAT: repeat; BACKGROUND-ATTACHMENT: scroll; BACKGROUND-POSITION: 0% 0%; mso-bidi-font-family: arial">Step
1: </SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN
style='FONT-FAMILY: ; COLOR: ; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"'><FONT
style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt">Be </FONT></SPAN></B><B
style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN
style='FONT-FAMILY: ; COLOR: ; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"'>imperious
and acerbic</SPAN></B><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: ; BACKGROUND-IMAGE: none; BACKGROUND-REPEAT: repeat; BACKGROUND-ATTACHMENT: scroll; BACKGROUND-POSITION: 0% 0%; COLOR: ">.<SPAN
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>As the food critic Anton Ego, from the
animated film <I style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal">Ratatouille,</I> knew so
well, being a critic is all about attitude.<SPAN
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>At your watch party, take on an air of
</SPAN><SPAN
style='FONT-FAMILY: ; COLOR: ; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"'>vanity
and arrogance.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN></SPAN><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: ; BACKGROUND-IMAGE: none; BACKGROUND-REPEAT: repeat; BACKGROUND-ATTACHMENT: scroll; BACKGROUND-POSITION: 0% 0%; mso-bidi-font-family: arial">Be
snarky.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Practice at home, with your
family, and at work. Only briefly shake hands with your watch party colleagues,
as if touching you is a privilege, and don’t make eye contact while doing so,
because your eyes are meant for film not friends.<SPAN
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal
style="VERTICAL-ALIGN: baseline; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: normal; mso-outline-level: 1"><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: ; BACKGROUND-IMAGE: none; BACKGROUND-REPEAT: repeat; BACKGROUND-ATTACHMENT: scroll; BACKGROUND-POSITION: 0% 0%; COLOR: ; mso-bidi-font-family: arial"><FONT
color=#4d5156 face=Georgia></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=MsoNormal
style="VERTICAL-ALIGN: baseline; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: normal; mso-outline-level: 1"><FONT
face=Georgia><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: ; BACKGROUND-IMAGE: none; BACKGROUND-REPEAT: repeat; BACKGROUND-ATTACHMENT: scroll; BACKGROUND-POSITION: 0% 0%; mso-bidi-font-family: arial">Step
2: Be dapper.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN></SPAN></B><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: ; BACKGROUND-IMAGE: none; BACKGROUND-REPEAT: repeat; BACKGROUND-ATTACHMENT: scroll; BACKGROUND-POSITION: 0% 0%; mso-bidi-font-family: arial">Come
dressed to critique, which means wearing a <SPAN style="COLOR: "><FONT
color=#4d5156>woven or hand-knitted </FONT></SPAN>beret and a </SPAN><SPAN
style='FONT-FAMILY: ; COLOR: ; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"'>chic
scarf while watching foreign documentaries.<SPAN
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>If you fancy yourself a deep thinker,
wear only black.</SPAN><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: ; BACKGROUND-IMAGE: none; BACKGROUND-REPEAT: repeat; BACKGROUND-ATTACHMENT: scroll; BACKGROUND-POSITION: 0% 0%; mso-bidi-font-family: arial">
If you are a person of </SPAN><SPAN
style='FONT-FAMILY: ; COLOR: ; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"'>taste
and distinction, where clothes that are ultra-fashionable and extremely
uncomfortable.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Or a sweater
vest.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN></SPAN></FONT><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: ; BACKGROUND-IMAGE: none; BACKGROUND-REPEAT: repeat; BACKGROUND-ATTACHMENT: scroll; BACKGROUND-POSITION: 0% 0%; mso-bidi-font-family: arial"></SPAN></P>
<P
style="VERTICAL-ALIGN: baseline; BACKGROUND: white; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: normal"><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: ; BACKGROUND-IMAGE: none; BACKGROUND-REPEAT: repeat; BACKGROUND-ATTACHMENT: scroll; BACKGROUND-POSITION: 0% 0%; COLOR: "><FONT
face=Georgia></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P
style="VERTICAL-ALIGN: baseline; BACKGROUND: white; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: normal"><FONT
face=Georgia><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN
style='FONT-FAMILY: ; COLOR: ; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"'>Step
3: Sound affected.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN></SPAN></B><SPAN
style='FONT-FAMILY: ; COLOR: ; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"'>Enunciate
like</SPAN><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: ; BACKGROUND-IMAGE: none; BACKGROUND-REPEAT: repeat; BACKGROUND-ATTACHMENT: scroll; BACKGROUND-POSITION: 0% 0%; COLOR: ">
Vincent Price or, better yet, </SPAN><SPAN
style='FONT-FAMILY: ; COLOR: ; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 18.0pt'>Katharine
Hepburn, who masked their </SPAN><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: ; BACKGROUND-IMAGE: none; BACKGROUND-REPEAT: repeat; BACKGROUND-ATTACHMENT: scroll; BACKGROUND-POSITION: 0% 0%; COLOR: ; mso-bidi-font-family: arial"><FONT
color=#4d5156>St. Louis, MO</FONT></SPAN><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: ; BACKGROUND-IMAGE: none; BACKGROUND-REPEAT: repeat; BACKGROUND-ATTACHMENT: scroll; BACKGROUND-POSITION: 0% 0%; COLOR: ">
and Hartford, CT accents</SPAN><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: ; BACKGROUND-IMAGE: none; BACKGROUND-REPEAT: repeat; BACKGROUND-ATTACHMENT: scroll; BACKGROUND-POSITION: 0% 0%; COLOR: ; mso-bidi-font-family: arial"><FONT
color=#4d5156>, respectively, by taking on a </FONT></SPAN><SPAN
style='FONT-FAMILY: ; COLOR: ; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"'>not-quite-British,
not-quite-American style of speaking.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">
</SPAN>If you talk with s</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: ; COLOR: ">taccato t's
and accordion-stretched a's, you will sound worldly and intelligent.<SPAN
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Watch <EM><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: ">The Philadelphia Story</SPAN></EM> and </SPAN><EM><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: ; BACKGROUND-IMAGE: none; BACKGROUND-REPEAT: repeat; BACKGROUND-ATTACHMENT: scroll; BACKGROUND-POSITION: 0% 0%; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-family: arial">House
on Haunted Hill</SPAN></EM><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: ; BACKGROUND-IMAGE: none; BACKGROUND-REPEAT: repeat; BACKGROUND-ATTACHMENT: scroll; BACKGROUND-POSITION: 0% 0%; mso-bidi-font-family: arial">
as if they were tutorials.</SPAN></FONT></P>
<P
style="VERTICAL-ALIGN: baseline; BACKGROUND: white; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: normal"><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: ; BACKGROUND-IMAGE: none; BACKGROUND-REPEAT: repeat; BACKGROUND-ATTACHMENT: scroll; BACKGROUND-POSITION: 0% 0%; mso-bidi-font-family: arial"><FONT
face=Georgia></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P
style="VERTICAL-ALIGN: baseline; BACKGROUND: white; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: normal"><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: ; BACKGROUND-IMAGE: none; BACKGROUND-REPEAT: repeat; BACKGROUND-ATTACHMENT: scroll; BACKGROUND-POSITION: 0% 0%; mso-bidi-font-family: arial"><FONT
face=Georgia>I know, my steps center on the superficial.<SPAN
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>It’s because if you are a supporter of
the CDFF, you are already smart and perceptive enough as it
is.</FONT></SPAN></P>
<P
style="VERTICAL-ALIGN: baseline; BACKGROUND: white; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: normal"><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: ; BACKGROUND-IMAGE: none; BACKGROUND-REPEAT: repeat; BACKGROUND-ATTACHMENT: scroll; BACKGROUND-POSITION: 0% 0%; mso-bidi-font-family: arial"><FONT
face=Georgia></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P
style="VERTICAL-ALIGN: baseline; BACKGROUND: white; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: normal"><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: ; BACKGROUND-IMAGE: none; BACKGROUND-REPEAT: repeat; BACKGROUND-ATTACHMENT: scroll; BACKGROUND-POSITION: 0% 0%; mso-bidi-font-family: arial"><FONT
face=Georgia>Go to chagrinfilmfest.org.</FONT></SPAN></P>
<P
style="VERTICAL-ALIGN: baseline; BACKGROUND: white; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: normal"><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: ; BACKGROUND-IMAGE: none; BACKGROUND-REPEAT: repeat; BACKGROUND-ATTACHMENT: scroll; BACKGROUND-POSITION: 0% 0%; mso-bidi-font-family: arial"><FONT
face=Georgia></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P
style="VERTICAL-ALIGN: baseline; BACKGROUND: white; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: normal"><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: ; BACKGROUND-IMAGE: none; BACKGROUND-REPEAT: repeat; BACKGROUND-ATTACHMENT: scroll; BACKGROUND-POSITION: 0% 0%; mso-bidi-font-family: arial"><FONT
face=Georgia>Bob Abelman is a Chagrin Falls resident, arts critic and the author
of a funny new novella <I style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal">All the World’s a
Stage Fright</I>.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Stop in at
Fireside Books or go to amazon.com for a
copy.</FONT></SPAN></P></DIV></DIV></BODY></HTML>