[NEohioPAL]A Mike and Ike Satirical Review of Newfangled Productions' "Waiting for Godot" at the University of Akron

[Jeff Holland]

--0-488182660-1035811535=:85524
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii


Ladies and gentlemen, for your entertainment and edification, Very Amateurish Productions is proud to present the world premiere of "Waiting for a Review," written by Mike and Ike, based on a concept by Samuel Beckett

(Curtain rises on a bare stage, save for two red bean bag chairs CENTER and an odd looking metal statue that might be a Tony award UC.  Sitting on SL chair is a dark haired man wearing a blue shirt, matching tie and khaki pants.  This is MIKE.  Opposite him is a man wearing a BITE ME t-shirt, baseball cap, and jeans.  This is IKE.  MIKE is having a cup of  tea.  IKE is chainsmoking.

MIKE:(English accent) Have you ever wondered what it would be like if you were dead?

IKE:(Southern accent) Nope.  Just you.

M:  No movement, no sensation, no thought.  Just void.  Unending nothing.  It you  were alive I'm quite sure it would drive you mad.

I:  Carrot Top's done okay.

M:  I'm sorry.  I think about these things sometimes.

I:  S'okay.  Just need ta up your medication.  (Deep breath) All right, let's do this.

M:  Are you sure?

I:  You start.

M:  Okay, what did you think of the play?

(Pause)

I:  You know, we should probably announce the winner of the contest.

M:  Dear God, I'd forgotten about that.

I:  So had the readers.

M:  A couple of reviews ago, we set up a nice little insult to local actor and before picture in a Hair Club for Men ad Jeff Holland and asked you to supply the punchline.  Well, I am pleased to announce that we have a winner and his name is NEIL THACKABERRY.

I:  I bet he's wettin' his pants with joy right now.

M:  We take you back in time to our review of Tree City Players' production of "Our Country's Good," with the winning line added for your enjoyment.

I:  I don't think that'll help.

M:  Shut up.

(Scooby Doo ending music plays)

I:  I had no idea Scottish men were so large and bald.

M:  It's a genetic thing.

I:  I also had no idea that there were so many identical twins back then.

M:  Be nice.  One of the actors in the original production played three characters.

I:  Yes, but how much Jeff Holland do we really need?

(WINNING LINE)

M:  Just enough for a DNA sample to store at the Never Clone Data Bank.

(END WINNING LINE)

I:  Already taken care of.  Good thing that boy's a klutz.  Suffered more head trauma than The Three Stooges combined.

M:  The other good thing is that everyone else in the show is a real actor.  Charles Leonard.  Greg Bealer.

I:  Liz Madden's pretty hot.

M:  And in conclusion,  I'd  just like to say that Brent Houston Rhines . . . 

(Scooby Doo ending music again)

I:  Ah, the memories!  Like a hot fondue fork shoved into the eyeballs.

M:  Once again, congratulations to Mr. Thackaberry, and be prepared to wet them a  second time once you hear the prize:  A season pass for two to the Actor's Summit Theatre in Hudson!

I:  You would not believe what we had to do to score that.  (Deep breath) All right.  Let's do this.

M:  Are you sure?

I:  You start.

M:  Okay, what did you think of the play?

(Longer pause)

M:  You think about me dead?

I:  Oh, NOW he get's it!

M:  Is that all I am to you?  Fodder for your purile sense of humour and a potential guest on "Six Feet Under?"

I:  Pretty much, yeah.

M:  Maybe we should part.

I:  Oh, come on, limey, calm down.

M:  You know I could work with Gene Shalit.  He likes me.

I:  No, he don't.

M:  Oh.   I'm leaving now.

I:  Face it.  We are a team.  Like Batman and Robin.  Like poison and elderberry wine (And bonus points for anyone who gets THAT reference)

M:  You mean it?

I:  Course I do!

M:  Friends?

I:  Friends.

M:  Embrace me.

I:  Hurt you!

M:  I'm hungry.  Do we have any carrots left?

I:  No, just Chicken in a Biscuit.

M:  Damn.

I:(Deep breath) All right.  Let's do this.

M:  Are you sure?

I:  You start.

M:  Okay, what did you think of the play?

(Curtain)

 

SPECIAL MESSAGE FROM MIKE

This Thursday, providing we can get tickets.  Ike and I are going to be at the late showing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show at the Player's Guild.  Personally I can't think of a better way to celebrate Halloween than with show tunes and cross dressing.  Hope to see you there.  Hope to see us there,  actually.



---------------------------------
Do you Yahoo!?
Y! Web Hosting - Let the expert host your web site
--0-488182660-1035811535=:85524
Content-Type: text/html; charset=us-ascii

<P>Ladies and gentlemen, for your entertainment and edification, Very Amateurish Productions is proud to present the world premiere of "Waiting for a Review," written by Mike and Ike, based on a concept by Samuel Beckett</P>
<P>(Curtain rises on a bare stage, save for two red bean bag chairs CENTER and an odd looking metal statue that might be a Tony award UC.  Sitting on SL chair is a dark haired man wearing a blue shirt, matching tie and khaki pants.  This is MIKE.  Opposite him is a man wearing a BITE ME t-shirt, baseball cap, and jeans.  This is IKE.  MIKE is having a cup of  tea.  IKE is chainsmoking.</P>
<P>MIKE:(English accent) Have you ever wondered what it would be like if you were dead?</P>
<P>IKE:(Southern accent) Nope.  Just you.</P>
<P>M:  No movement, no sensation, no thought.  Just void.  Unending nothing.  It you  were alive I'm quite sure it would drive you mad.</P>
<P>I:  Carrot Top's done okay.</P>
<P>M:  I'm sorry.  I think about these things sometimes.</P>
<P>I:  S'okay.  Just need ta up your medication.  (Deep breath) All right, let's do this.</P>
<P>M:  Are you sure?</P>
<P>I:  You start.</P>
<P>M:  Okay, what did you think of the play?</P>
<P>(Pause)</P>
<P>I:  You know, we should probably announce the winner of the contest.</P>
<P>M:  Dear God, I'd forgotten about that.</P>
<P>I:  So had the readers.</P>
<P>M:  A couple of reviews ago, we set up a nice little insult to local actor and before picture in a Hair Club for Men ad Jeff Holland and asked you to supply the punchline.  Well, I am pleased to announce that we have a winner and his name is NEIL THACKABERRY.</P>
<P>I:  I bet he's wettin' his pants with joy right now.</P>
<P>M:  We take you back in time to our review of Tree City Players' production of "Our Country's Good," with the winning line added for your enjoyment.</P>
<P>I:  I don't think that'll help.</P>
<P>M:  Shut up.</P>
<P>(Scooby Doo ending music plays)</P>
<P>I:  I had no idea Scottish men were so large and bald.</P>
<P>M:  It's a genetic thing.</P>
<P>I:  I also had no idea that there were so many identical twins back then.</P>
<P>M:  Be nice.  One of the actors in the original production played three characters.</P>
<P>I:  Yes, but how much Jeff Holland do we really need?</P>
<P>(WINNING LINE)</P>
<P>M:  Just enough for a DNA sample to store at the Never Clone Data Bank.</P>
<P>(END WINNING LINE)</P>
<P>I:  Already taken care of.  Good thing that boy's a klutz.  Suffered more head trauma than The Three Stooges combined.</P>
<P>M:  The other good thing is that everyone else in the show is a real actor.  Charles Leonard.  Greg Bealer.</P>
<P>I:  Liz Madden's pretty hot.</P>
<P>M:  And in conclusion,  I'd  just like to say that Brent Houston Rhines . . . </P>
<P>(Scooby Doo ending music again)</P>
<P>I:  Ah, the memories!  Like a hot fondue fork shoved into the eyeballs.</P>
<P>M:  Once again, congratulations to Mr. Thackaberry, and be prepared to wet them a  second time once you hear the prize:  A season pass for two to the Actor's Summit Theatre in Hudson!</P>
<P>I:  You would not believe what we had to do to score that.  (Deep breath) All right.  Let's do this.</P>
<P>M:  Are you sure?</P>
<P>I:  You start.</P>
<P>M:  Okay, what did you think of the play?</P>
<P>(Longer pause)</P>
<P>M:  You think about me dead?</P>
<P>I:  Oh, NOW he get's it!</P>
<P>M:  Is that all I am to you?  Fodder for your purile sense of humour and a potential guest on "Six Feet Under?"</P>
<P>I:  Pretty much, yeah.</P>
<P>M:  Maybe we should part.</P>
<P>I:  Oh, come on, limey, calm down.</P>
<P>M:  You know I could work with Gene Shalit.  He likes me.</P>
<P>I:  No, he don't.</P>
<P>M:  Oh.   I'm leaving now.</P>
<P>I:  Face it.  We are a team.  Like Batman and Robin.  Like poison and elderberry wine (And bonus points for anyone who gets THAT reference)</P>
<P>M:  You mean it?</P>
<P>I:  Course I do!</P>
<P>M:  Friends?</P>
<P>I:  Friends.</P>
<P>M:  Embrace me.</P>
<P>I:  Hurt you!</P>
<P>M:  I'm hungry.  Do we have any carrots left?</P>
<P>I:  No, just Chicken in a Biscuit.</P>
<P>M:  Damn.</P>
<P>I:(Deep breath) All right.  Let's do this.</P>
<P>M:  Are you sure?</P>
<P>I:  You start.</P>
<P>M:  Okay, what did you think of the play?</P>
<P>(Curtain)</P>
<P> </P>
<P>SPECIAL MESSAGE FROM MIKE</P>
<P>This Thursday, providing we can get tickets.  Ike and I are going to be at the late showing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show at the Player's Guild.  Personally I can't think of a better way to celebrate Halloween than with show tunes and cross dressing.  Hope to see you there.  Hope to see us there,  actually.</P><p><br><hr size=1>Do you Yahoo!?<br>
<a href="http://webhosting.yahoo.com/ ">Y! Web Hosting</a> - Let the expert host your web site
--0-488182660-1035811535=:85524--