[NEohioPAL]DELETE NOW: The Mike & Ike Interviews Volume #1
Jeff Holland
profbobo at neo.rr.com
Sat Apr 19 01:32:14 PDT 2003
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WARNING: THE FOLLOWING INTERVIEWS WERE RATED PG-13 BY BOTH OPRAH AND =
HER BOOK CLUB, BARBERA WALTERS, AND EVEN JERRY SPRINGER. CHEVY CHASE, =
HOWEVER, SEEMED TO LOVE THEM. HMMM.
"MY POP TART WITH FRED"
MIKE: Fred Sternfeld, man, legend, board game.
IKE: He put the PAL in NEohioPAL.
M: Okay, that might be taking it a bit too far.
I: Come on, it's got that Rogers and Hammersteinny show tune feel all =
over it. (SINGING WITH FULL ORCHESTRAL ACCOMPIANMENT) HE BRINGS THE =
BUCKS TO BECK CENTER HE PUTS THE PAL IN NEOHIOPAL!
LONG PAUSE
M: Where did that orchestra come from?
I: My mind.
M: Moving on: Fred Stenfeld is a good man; a fine man--
I:(SINGING WITH FULL ACCOMPIANMENT) AND HE GOES GREAT WITH THREE GLASSES =
OF CHIATI . . . AND SOME FAVAR BEANS!
M: Shut up!
I: I don't know what the deal is. I haven't spontaneously busted out =
inta music since . . .aw, shit! We gotta concept piece comin'
M: I thought I felt a deep sense of dread. =20
I: This is gonna be Godot 2:Electric Bugaloo I know it.
M: All right, no reason to panic. Let's focus on the job. Recently, =
Fred agreed to rip up the restraining orders and sit down with us for a =
few moments. We were told to meet him at a performance of La Cage =
Saturday night. We go there, no Fred, but we are told that he is at a =
rehearsal for Fiddler on the Roof on the other side of town. We go =
there, several burly men with beards but no Fred, then we're told he =
took off for a bit to rehearse his one man version of Marat/Sade, which =
apparently he only practices while driving. =20
I: After 2 1/2 hours of driving along Cleveland and the surrounding =
areas, getting carjilled (Nowhere near as bad. They have weapons, but =
they usually just want to go to Playhouse Square and they tip well), and =
seein' way too many Cher signs.
M: Well, this is her farewell tour.
I: The eighth year of it. Anyway, we finally cornered him in a Taco =
Bell drive through line and were able to get a few questions out before =
he drove off, so here they are
=20
Mike: Mr. Sternfeld, in surfing your website we discovered that you've =
done going on 50 plays within the last month. My question to you, sir =
is--
Ike: When the hell do you sleep?
FRED: I don't sleep. I try to sometimes but it gets in the way of doing =
another show. =20
Actually I used to do only one or two shows a year, but now that I am a =
silent partner in the chemical business and am devoting myself =
exclusively to theatre, I decided to take on more. I admit though that =
five in a one year period (from man who came to dinner to fiddler) is a =
little much. I doubt if I will do as many in the next year. But, I am =
having a blast with the different projects I have taken on. I feel =
lucky to have the opportunity to do this kind of work.=20
Mike: Well. your production of La Cage Aux Folles, based on the movie =
The Birdcage, is up and running and from what our blackmailed informants =
tell us it is a smash hit with standing ovations every night. =
Especially after that idiotic review in Cleveland Scene. My favorite =
bit: She gets a bug up her butt about the signs being in English and =
making some sort of thinly veiled political comment by comparing this =
to John Ashcroft. Sweetie, the reason all the signs are in English is =
because the rest of the play is too. I have no problem with you =
advancing your own agendas but at least try and make sense while doing =
it.
I: Get to the point, he finished ordering.
M: You must be feeling pretty good about yourself right now .
=20
FRED: Actually La Cage was adapted from the original play by Jean =
Poiret, then made into a popular French movie that was released in the =
seventies. The Birdcage was a recent update and adaptation that place =
the events in Florida rather than France. And that happened even before =
all the "freedom" replacements lately. Go figure.=20
Your informants are right. It is a smash hit with standing ovations =
every night. And it is selling huge. I hope your readers will get an =
opportunity to see it before it closes on April 19th.
What is rewarding about the experience is that I had a wonderful time =
working with the cast and production staff to create the show, to see =
the audience being entertained and moved by the humor, spectacle and the =
play's message of love, acceptance and tolerance.
=20
M: After all the shows you've directed, do you still (Or ever) get that =
lump in your throat opening night when you have to give up your baby?=20
FRED: I always get a lump in my throat but not because I am giving =
something up. Opening night is always a night of excitement and fear - =
to see for the first time whether what I thought was working really does =
work with the audience. After the show opens, I tend to go to a lot of =
performances because I am a student of audiences and I learn a lot about =
what works and what doesn't from their reactions.=20
I: Anybody in the cast you want to kill?
=20
FRED: No. It is a wonderful cast. Talented, easy to work with, no prima =
donnas, and they are loving being together. Many nights after rehearsals =
and performances they close the Rush Inn across the street, and on =
Wednesdays many of them perform karaoke for each other at Kronie's next =
door. They made me get up one week and sing 'Cat's in the Cradle.' =
Someone recorded me and I'm told bootleg copies are available. Ouch...
=20
I: Anybody in the cast want to kill anybody? Lemmie know, I'm =
freelancing
Not that I'm aware of, but I'll ask around.
I: That guy in the first window just gave me the finger! Oh, I got =
sumthin' for him!
M: You'll be starting Fiddler on the Roof soon I believe. Using that =
as an example: You just got the job directing the show. Before you =
meet with your tech people, before you bring in actor's and it all goes =
to hell, what's the first thing you do?
FRED: Read the play -- a bunch of times.
Then I analyze the play to determine the central action and themes and =
try to come up with some defining metaphors that help me visualize the =
show.=20
I: I have no idea what you just said, but damn it sounded cool.
M: What was the night you everyone saw the guys in their costumes for =
the first time like?
FRED: It was very exciting to see how completely transformed some of =
the guys looked after donning costumes and make-up. There were several =
I didn't recognize. The cast was SO ready for costumes by the time we =
got them. With this show in particular the costumes were integral to =
helping the cast develop their characters. They used rehearsal skirts =
and high heels early on as well.=20
M: I believe you're beginning Fiddler on the Roof now. How difficult =
is it to go from transvestites to men with large beards?
FRED: Not difficult at all. Behind the transvestites and beards are =
very human stories that need to be told. La Cage being about love, =
acceptance and tolerance and Fiddler about the durability of the human =
spirit and adapting to a changing world. Also, Fiddler is part of my =
heritage. My ancestors lived in shtetls in Poland and Russia in the =
early 1900's and were subject to the persecution and pogroms.=20
I: All right, let's get onto the stuff that really matters. What did =
ya think the first time ya read one of our reviews?
FRED: I thought they were funny and insightful. Unlike some of your =
critics, I totally got the parody flavor of the writing. You two are =
like the Abbott and Costello of theatre critics. Now that I've said all =
that will you promise not to write anything negative about my shows?=20
I: If the check clears we're good to go!
M: And then he was gone, with a wave of his hand and a Gordita in his =
mouth, off to share his vast knowledge to those lucky few he deigns =
worthy to enlighten. I was only with him for a few moments, and I =
already feel different somehow. Like I've reached a new plateau of =
evolution.
I: The check clear?
M: Oh, yeah!
"MORE BANG FOR YOUR BUCK"=20
=20
IKE: Recently, we sent J. Claude Crumbumple--reporter, columnist, and =
occasional Psychiatric Outpatient--out to interview JT Buck, director of =
the Aurora Community The-ater's production of Rodger's and Hammerstein's =
tribute to excessive whiteness "State Fair." Somewhere, however, wires =
were crossed and he wound up in Iraq, which works cause we were gonna =
send him there anyway and this way we don't gotta pay for it. Thankfully =
he has a lap top and was able to do the interview that way.=20
=20
From: J. Claude Crumbumple=20
To: JT Buck=20
RE: State Fair=20
=20
Mr. Buck. Please attempt to locate, ensconsed within this email, the =
questionnaire invented by the late Troilus L. LeMonde-Puree for his hit =
television series Six Feet Yonder. Please respond promptly. If you get =
stuck, just remember the advice my daddy always gave me: All ya need is =
spit an' determination.=20
=20
- J. Claude=20
=20
=20
JC: So first its the "gay Jesus" play and now this? What the f%#k?=20
=20
JT: Well, I'm a student in the University of Akron theatre program, so =
it was either this or an all quadroplegic version of "West Side Story" =
and this seemed more 'me'.=20
=20
Seriously, "State Fair" is a wonderful Rodgers and Hammerstein concert, =
but it does leave a little to be desired in the book department, lacking =
minor things like plot and character development. I wanted to see what =
we could do to make this show interesting, and I think we have. Its a =
rendering of "State Fair" for both people who love and hate "State =
Fair," and I know there are a lot of you out there.=20
=20
JC: Lord knows I'm one of them. John Davidson, who recently starred in =
the Broadway mounting of "State Fair", recently turned down your offer =
to host a party for him during tech week. How does it feel to know even =
John "That's Incredible" Davidson finds Parma more interesting that you? =
=20
JT: I was a little bit upset by this but it's okay. Fran Tarkington is =
coming for Act One closing night. =20
=20
JC: Tell us about the children. Are you 'ok' to work with them now? The =
judge last time was quite adamant. We won't have any more 'incidents', =
will we?=20
=20
JT: The duct tape has been hidden.=20
=20
JC: Looking over your press release for State Fair, I see several =
references to "piggys". What is your shoe size?=20
=20
JT: I think you have some issues.=20
=20
JC: In "Dearly Departed" for the Church Street Players, you gave us a =
cross dressing minister and a mentally retarded fat chick with a potato =
chip fetish. In "Tale of Two Cities": closeted gay 12 year olds with =
sticks storming the Bastille (could have been called "Paris is Burning- =
the Youth Cast"). In the "Laramie Project": 8 heroin addicts with =
flashlights trying to make us more 'aware'. In "As Bees In Honey Drown": =
Susan Speers. So, in what unique and special way have you decided to =
screw your audience on THIS show?=20
=20
JT: Well, we started by hiring Merlynn Hancock to choreograph. From =
then on, all we had to do was add waffles.
JC: Whats this?=20
JT: A question.=20
JC: Whats that?
JT: A persian rug.
JC: Who is that?
JT: Richard Nixon.=20
JC: Where are you?
JT: My Apartment.
JC: What do they all have in common?
JT: They are all things I'd have a hard time getting clean.
JC: Rumor has it you recently auditioned for a show at CPT. So, like, =
you think you are good enough to actually work in Cleveland now? The =
last Akronite to do that was Andrew Kay, who is now Lakewood's youngest =
Republican Drag Queen. Is that the kind of lifestyle you want?=20
=20
JT: Rumor has it Andy is actually Lakewood's OLDEST republican drag =
queen, but only your plastic surgeon knows for sure. AND....F%#K you =
you coked up limey freak! I think my audition for Discordia went really =
well. I was wearing very revealing sweatpants, and I think Linda =
Eisenstien had the hots for me. I know that look in a woman's eyes.=20
=20
JC: Sorry, I just can't get past it. I distinctly remember the =
conversation we had over spam-Smores and Yoohoo Kabobs, that night in =
the woods after we disposed of the leftover corpses from your production =
of "A Christmas Carol II - Ebeneezer Blames the Jews". You said you'd =
never do State Fair, not for a million dollars, not in a million donuts. =
How is it an up and coming theatrical juggernaut such as yourself gets =
side-tracked by such a sappy piece of goo as State Fair? How? How? How? =
What changed your mind? What makes you think anyone would want to pay =
good money to see what the New York Times recently called "America's =
Whitest, Blandest, Safest for Community Theatre In Aurora, Ohio Musical =
of the Year." ?=20
=20
JT: Waffles .=20
=20
JC: If God exists, what would like him to say when he greets you at the =
Pearly Gates?=20
=20
JT: That Corpus Christi thing, that was a good show.
IKE:(To himself) Keep thinkin' "friendly fire." Keep thinkin' "friendly =
fire!" =20
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<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2><STRONG>WARNING: THE FOLLOWING =
INTERVIEWS=20
WERE RATED PG-13 BY BOTH OPRAH AND HER BOOK CLUB, BARBERA WALTERS, AND =
EVEN=20
JERRY SPRINGER. CHEVY CHASE, HOWEVER, SEEMED TO LOVE THEM. =20
HMMM.</STRONG></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>"<STRONG><FONT size=3D3>MY POP TART =
WITH=20
FRED"</FONT></STRONG></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><STRONG><FONT face=3DArial></FONT></STRONG> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>MIKE: Fred Sternfeld, man, =
legend, board=20
game.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>IKE: He put the PAL in=20
NEohioPAL.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>M: Okay, that might be taking it =
a bit too=20
far.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>I: Come on, it's got that Rogers =
and=20
Hammersteinny show tune feel all over it. (SINGING WITH FULL =
ORCHESTRAL=20
ACCOMPIANMENT) HE BRINGS THE BUCKS TO BECK CENTER HE PUTS THE PAL IN=20
NEOHIOPAL!</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>LONG PAUSE</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>M: Where did that orchestra come=20
from?</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>I: My mind.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>M: Moving on: Fred Stenfeld =
is a good=20
man; a fine man--</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>I:(SINGING WITH FULL ACCOMPIANMENT) AND =
HE GOES=20
GREAT WITH THREE GLASSES OF CHIATI . . . AND SOME FAVAR=20
BEANS!</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>M: Shut up!</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>I: I don't know what =
the deal=20
is. I haven't spontaneously busted out inta music since . . =
.aw,=20
shit! We gotta concept piece comin'</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>M: I thought I felt a deep =
sense of=20
dread. </FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>I: This is gonna be Godot=20
2:Electri</FONT><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>c Bugaloo I know =
it.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>M: All right, no reason to =
panic. Let's=20
focus on the job. Recently, Fred agreed to rip up the =
restraining=20
orders and sit down with us for a few moments. We were told =
to meet=20
him at a performance of La Cage Saturday night. We go there, =
no Fred,=20
but we are told that he is at a rehearsal for Fiddler on the =
Roof on=20
the other side of town. We go there, several burly men with =
beards=20
but no Fred, then we're told he took off for a bit to rehearse his one =
man=20
version of Marat/Sade, which apparently he only =
practices while=20
driving. </FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>I: After 2 1/2 hours of driving =
along=20
Cleveland and the surrounding areas, getting carjilled (Nowhere near as=20
bad. They have weapons, but they usually just want to go to =
Playhouse=20
Square and they tip well), and seein' way too many =
Cher signs.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>M: Well, this is her farewell=20
tour.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>I: The eighth year of =
it. Anyway,=20
we finally cornered him in a Taco Bell drive through line and were =
able to=20
get a few questions out before he drove off, so here they =
are</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV> =20
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>Mike: Mr. Sternfeld, in =
surfing your=20
website we discovered that you've done going on 50 plays within the last =
month. My question to you, sir is--</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>Ike: When the hell do you =
sleep?</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial><STRONG>FRED: I don't sleep. I try to sometimes =
but it=20
gets in the way of doing another show. <BR><BR>Actually I used to =
do only=20
one or two shows a year, but now that I am a silent partner in the =
chemical=20
business and am devoting myself exclusively to theatre, I decided to =
take on=20
more. I admit though that five in a one year period (from man who =
came to=20
dinner to fiddler) is a little much. I doubt if I will do as many =
in the=20
next year. But, I am having a blast with the different projects I =
have=20
taken on. I feel lucky to have the opportunity to do this kind of=20
work.</STRONG> </FONT></DIV>
<DIV><STRONG><FONT face=3DArial></FONT></STRONG> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>Mike: Well. your production of La =
Cage Aux Folles, based on the movie The Birdcage, is up and=20
running and from what our blackmailed informants tell=20
us it is a smash hit with standing ovations every=20
night. Especially after that idiotic review in Cleveland =
Scene. My favorite bit: She gets a bug up her butt about the =
signs=20
being in English and making some sort of thinly veiled political =
comment=20
by comparing this to John Ashcroft. Sweetie, the reason all the =
signs are=20
in English is because the rest of the play is too. I =
have no=20
problem with you advancing your own agendas but at least try=20
and make sense while doing it.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>I: Get to the point, he finished=20
ordering.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>M: Y</FONT><FONT =
face=3DArial size=3D2>ou=20
must be feeling pretty good about yourself right now .</FONT><FONT =
lang=3D0=20
style=3D"BACKGROUND-COLOR: #ffffff" color=3D#000000 size=3D3=20
FAMILY=3D"SANSSERIF"><BR><FONT =
face=3DArial> <BR><STRONG>FRED: Actually=20
La Cage was adapted from the original play by Jean Poiret, then made =
into a=20
popular French movie that was released in the seventies. The =
Birdcage was=20
a recent update and adaptation that place the events in Florida rather =
than=20
France. And that happened even before all the "freedom" =
replacements=20
lately. Go figure. <BR><BR>Your informants are right. It is a =
smash hit=20
with standing ovations every night. And it is selling huge. I hope your =
readers=20
will get an opportunity to see it before it closes on April =
19th.<BR><BR>What is=20
rewarding about the experience is that I had a wonderful time working =
with the=20
cast and production staff to create the show, to see the audience being=20
entertained and moved by the humor, spectacle and the play's message of =
love,=20
acceptance and tolerance.<BR> <BR></STRONG></FONT></FONT><FONT =
lang=3D0=20
style=3D"BACKGROUND-COLOR: #ffffff" face=3DArial color=3D#000000 =
size=3D2=20
FAMILY=3D"SANSSERIF">M: After all the shows you've directed, do you =
still (Or=20
ever) get that lump in your throat opening night when you have =
to give=20
up your baby? </FONT><FONT lang=3D0 style=3D"BACKGROUND-COLOR: =
#ffffff"=20
color=3D#000000 size=3D3 FAMILY=3D"SANSSERIF"><BR><BR><FONT=20
face=3DArial><STRONG>FRED: I always get a lump in my throat but =
not because=20
I am giving something up. Opening night is always a night of excitement =
and fear=20
- to see for the first time whether what I thought was working really =
does work=20
with the audience. After the show opens, I tend to go to a lot of =
performances=20
because I am a student of audiences and I learn a lot about what works =
and what=20
doesn't from their reactions</STRONG>.</FONT></FONT><FONT face=3DArial>=20
</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>I: Anybody in the cast you want =
to=20
kill?</FONT><FONT lang=3D0 style=3D"BACKGROUND-COLOR: #ffffff" =
color=3D#000000=20
FAMILY=3D"SANSSERIF"><BR><FONT =
face=3DArial> <BR><STRONG>FRED: No. It is=20
a wonderful cast. Talented, easy to work with, no prima donnas, and they =
are=20
loving being together. Many nights after rehearsals and performances =
they close=20
the Rush Inn across the street, and on Wednesdays many of them perform =
karaoke=20
for each other at Kronie's next door. They made me get up one week and =
sing=20
'Cat's in the Cradle.' Someone recorded me and I'm told bootleg =
copies are=20
available. Ouch...<BR> <BR></STRONG></FONT></FONT><FONT lang=3D0=20
style=3D"BACKGROUND-COLOR: #ffffff" face=3DArial color=3D#000000 =
size=3D2=20
FAMILY=3D"SANSSERIF">I: Anybody in the cast want to kill =
anybody? =20
Lemmie know, I'm freelancing<BR><BR></FONT><FONT lang=3D0=20
style=3D"BACKGROUND-COLOR: #ffffff" face=3DArial color=3D#000000 =
size=3D3=20
FAMILY=3D"SANSSERIF"><STRONG>Not that I'm aware of, but I'll ask=20
around.</STRONG></FONT></DIV><FONT lang=3D0 style=3D"BACKGROUND-COLOR: =
#ffffff"=20
face=3DArial color=3D#000000 size=3D3=20
FAMILY=3D"SANSSERIF"><STRONG></STRONG></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT lang=3D0 style=3D"BACKGROUND-COLOR: #ffffff" face=3DArial =
color=3D#000000=20
size=3D3 FAMILY=3D"SANSSERIF"><STRONG></STRONG></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT lang=3D0 style=3D"BACKGROUND-COLOR: #ffffff" face=3DArial =
color=3D#000000=20
size=3D3 FAMILY=3D"SANSSERIF"><FONT size=3D2>I: That guy in the =
first window=20
just gave me the finger! Oh, I got sumthin' for =
him!</FONT></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT lang=3D0 style=3D"BACKGROUND-COLOR: #ffffff" face=3DArial =
color=3D#000000=20
size=3D3 FAMILY=3D"SANSSERIF"><FONT size=3D2></FONT></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT lang=3D0 style=3D"BACKGROUND-COLOR: #ffffff" face=3DArial =
color=3D#000000=20
size=3D3 FAMILY=3D"SANSSERIF"><FONT size=3D2>M: You'll be starting =
Fiddler on=20
the Roof soon I believe. Using that as an example: You =
just got=20
the job directing the show. Before you meet with your tech people, =
before=20
you bring in actor's and it all goes to hell, what's the first thing you =
do?</FONT><FONT lang=3D0 style=3D"BACKGROUND-COLOR: #ffffff" =
face=3DArial=20
color=3D#000000 size=3D3 =
FAMILY=3D"SANSSERIF"><BR><BR><STRONG>FRED: Read the=20
play -- a bunch of times.<BR><BR>Then I analyze the play to determine =
the=20
central action and themes and try to come up with some defining =
metaphors that=20
help me visualize the show.</STRONG></FONT><STRONG> =
</STRONG></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT lang=3D0 style=3D"BACKGROUND-COLOR: #ffffff" face=3DArial =
color=3D#000000=20
size=3D3 FAMILY=3D"SANSSERIF"><STRONG></STRONG></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT lang=3D0 style=3D"BACKGROUND-COLOR: #ffffff" face=3DArial =
color=3D#000000=20
size=3D3 FAMILY=3D"SANSSERIF"><FONT size=3D2>I: I have no idea =
what you just=20
said, but damn it sounded cool.</FONT></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT lang=3D0 style=3D"BACKGROUND-COLOR: #ffffff" face=3DArial =
color=3D#000000=20
size=3D3 FAMILY=3D"SANSSERIF"><FONT size=3D2></FONT></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT lang=3D0 style=3D"BACKGROUND-COLOR: #ffffff" face=3DArial =
color=3D#000000=20
size=3D3 FAMILY=3D"SANSSERIF"><FONT size=3D2>M: What was the night =
you everyone=20
saw the guys in their costumes for the first time =
like?<BR><BR></FONT><FONT=20
lang=3D0 style=3D"BACKGROUND-COLOR: #ffffff" face=3DArial =
color=3D#000000 size=3D3=20
FAMILY=3D"SANSSERIF"><STRONG>FRED: It was very exciting to see how =
completely transformed some of the guys looked after donning costumes =
and=20
make-up. There were several I didn't recognize. The cast was SO =
ready for=20
costumes by the time we got them. With this show in particular the =
costumes were=20
integral to helping the cast develop their characters. They used =
rehearsal=20
skirts and high heels early on as well. </STRONG></FONT></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT lang=3D0 style=3D"BACKGROUND-COLOR: #ffffff" face=3DArial =
color=3D#000000=20
size=3D3 FAMILY=3D"SANSSERIF"><FONT lang=3D0 style=3D"BACKGROUND-COLOR: =
#ffffff"=20
face=3DArial color=3D#000000 size=3D2 =
FAMILY=3D"SANSSERIF"></FONT></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>M: I believe you're beginning =
Fiddler on=20
the Roof now. How difficult is it to go from transvestites to =
men=20
with large beards?</FONT><FONT lang=3D0 style=3D"BACKGROUND-COLOR: =
#ffffff"=20
color=3D#000000 size=3D3 FAMILY=3D"SANSSERIF"><BR><BR><FONT=20
face=3DArial><STRONG>FRED: Not difficult at all. Behind the =
transvestites=20
and beards are very human stories that need to be told. La Cage =
being=20
about love, acceptance and tolerance and Fiddler about the durability of =
the=20
human spirit and adapting to a changing world. Also, Fiddler =
is part=20
of my heritage. My ancestors lived in shtetls in Poland and Russia in =
the early=20
1900's and were subject to the persecution and pogroms.=20
</STRONG></FONT></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><STRONG><FONT face=3DArial></FONT></STRONG> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>I: All right, let's get onto the =
stuff that=20
really matters. What did ya think the first time ya read one of =
our=20
reviews?</FONT><FONT lang=3D0 style=3D"BACKGROUND-COLOR: #ffffff" =
color=3D#000000=20
size=3D3 FAMILY=3D"SANSSERIF"><BR><BR><FONT =
face=3DArial><STRONG>FRED: I thought=20
they were funny and insightful. Unlike some of your critics, I totally =
got the=20
parody flavor of the writing. You two are like the Abbott and =
Costello of=20
theatre critics. Now that I've said all that will you promise not to =
write=20
anything negative about my shows?</STRONG></FONT></FONT><FONT=20
face=3DArial><STRONG> </STRONG></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><STRONG><FONT face=3DArial></FONT></STRONG> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>I: If the check clears we're =
good to=20
go!</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>M: And then he was gone, with a =
wave of his=20
hand and a Gordita in his mouth, off to share his vast knowledge to =
those=20
lucky few he deigns worthy to enlighten. I was only with him for a =
few=20
moments, and I already feel different somehow. Like I've reached a =
new=20
plateau of evolution.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>I: The check clear?</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>M: Oh, yeah!</FONT></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=3D4><STRONG>"MORE BANG FOR YOUR BUCK"</STRONG></FONT> =
</DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV></DIV></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV>IKE: Recently, we sent J. Claude Crumbumple--reporter, columnist, =
and=20
occasional Psychiatric Outpatient--out to interview JT Buck, =
director of=20
the Aurora Community The-ater's production of Rodger's and Hammerstein's =
tribute=20
to excessive whiteness "State Fair." Somewhere, however, wires were =
crossed and=20
he wound up in Iraq, which works cause we were gonna send him there =
anyway and=20
this way we don't gotta pay for it. Thankfully he has a lap top and was =
able to=20
do the interview that way. </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV>From: J. Claude Crumbumple </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV>To: JT Buck </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV>RE: State Fair </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV>Mr. Buck. Please attempt to locate, ensconsed within this email, =
the=20
questionnaire invented by the late Troilus L. LeMonde-Puree for his hit=20
television series Six Feet Yonder. Please respond promptly. If you get =
stuck,=20
just remember the advice my daddy always gave me: All ya need is spit =
an'=20
determination. </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV> - J. Claude </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV>JC: So first its the "gay Jesus" play and now this? What the f%#k? =
</DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV>JT: Well, I'm a student in the University of Akron theatre program, =
so it=20
was either this or an all quadroplegic version of "West Side Story" and =
this=20
seemed more 'me'. </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV>Seriously, "State Fair" is a wonderful Rodgers and Hammerstein =
concert, but=20
it does leave a little to be desired in the book department, lacking =
minor=20
things like plot and character development. I wanted to see what we =
could do to=20
make this show interesting, and I think we have. Its a rendering=20
of "State Fair" for both people who love and hate "State Fair," and =
I know=20
there are a lot of you out there. </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV>JC: Lord knows I'm one of them. John Davidson, who recently starred =
in the=20
Broadway mounting of "State Fair", recently turned down your offer to =
host a=20
party for him during tech week. How does it feel to know even John =
"That's=20
Incredible" Davidson finds Parma more interesting that you? </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV>JT: I was a little bit upset by this but it's okay. Fran Tarkington =
is=20
coming for Act One closing night. </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV>JC: Tell us about the children. Are you 'ok' to work with them now? =
The=20
judge last time was quite adamant. We won't have any more 'incidents', =
will we?=20
</DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV>JT: The duct tape has been hidden. </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV>JC: Looking over your press release for State Fair, I see several=20
references to "piggys". What is your shoe size? </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV>JT: I think you have some issues. </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV>JC: In "Dearly Departed" for the Church Street Players, you gave us =
a cross=20
dressing minister and a mentally retarded fat chick with a potato =
chip=20
fetish. In "Tale of Two Cities": closeted gay 12 year olds with sticks =
storming=20
the Bastille (could have been called "Paris is Burning- the Youth =
Cast"). In the=20
"Laramie Project": 8 heroin addicts with flashlights trying to make us =
more=20
'aware'. In "As Bees In Honey Drown": Susan Speers. So, in what =
unique and=20
special way have you decided to screw your audience on THIS =
show?=20
</DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<P>JT: Well, we started by hiring Merlynn Hancock to choreograph. =
From=20
then on, all we had to do was add waffles.</P>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV>JC: Whats this? </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<P>JT: A question. </P>
<DIV></DIV>
<P>JC: Whats that?</P>
<DIV></DIV>
<P>JT: A persian rug.</P>
<DIV></DIV>
<P>JC: Who is that?</P>
<DIV></DIV>
<P>JT: Richard Nixon. </P>
<DIV></DIV>
<P>JC: Where are you?</P>
<DIV></DIV>
<P>JT: My Apartment.</P>
<DIV></DIV>
<P>JC: What do they all have in common?</P>
<DIV></DIV>
<P>JT: They are all things I'd have a hard time getting clean.</P>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV>JC: Rumor has it you recently auditioned for a show at CPT. So, =
like, you=20
think you are good enough to actually work in Cleveland now? The last =
Akronite=20
to do that was Andrew Kay, who is now Lakewood's youngest Republican =
Drag Queen.=20
Is that the kind of lifestyle you want? </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV>JT: Rumor has it Andy is actually Lakewood's OLDEST =
republican drag=20
queen, but only your plastic surgeon knows for sure. AND....F%#K =
you you=20
coked up limey freak! I think my audition for Discordia went really =
well. =20
I was wearing very revealing sweatpants, and I think Linda =
Eisenstien had=20
the hots for me. I know that look in a woman's eyes. </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV>JC: Sorry, I just can't get past it. I distinctly remember the =
conversation=20
we had over spam-Smores and Yoohoo Kabobs, that night in the woods after =
we=20
disposed of the leftover corpses from your production of "A Christmas =
Carol II -=20
Ebeneezer Blames the Jews". You said you'd never do State Fair, not for =
a=20
million dollars, not in a million donuts. How is it an up and coming =
theatrical=20
juggernaut such as yourself gets side-tracked by such a sappy piece of =
goo as=20
State Fair? How? How? How? What changed your mind? What makes you think =
anyone=20
would want to pay good money to see what the New York Times recently =
called=20
"America's Whitest, Blandest, Safest for Community Theatre In Aurora, =
Ohio=20
Musical of the Year." ? </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV>JT: Waffles . </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV>JC: If God exists, what would like him to say when he greets you at =
the=20
Pearly Gates? </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV>JT: That Corpus Christi thing, that was a good show.</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>IKE:(To himself) Keep thinkin' "friendly fire." Keep thinkin' =
"friendly fire!" </DIV></FONT></DIV></BODY></HTML>
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