[NEohioPAL]DELETE NOW: A Mike and Ike Satirical Review of Playhouse Square's "Rent"

[Mike and Ike]

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WARNING:   TICK TICK BOOM IS A MUCH BETTER SHOW
 
    MIKE AND IKE PRESENT
THE TOP TEN WAYS TO MAKE SURE
YOUR MUSICAL IS A SUCCESS
(EVEN IF IT'S NOT THAT GOOD)
 
 
DRUMROLL
 
#10:   Instead of creating a truly original piece, find a work that is already considered "classic" and steal--I mean, adapt it.  Andrew Lloyd Weber has built a career on this.
 
#9:  Populate your cast with young, vibrant singers and dancers.  People who can act should be doing Neil Simon.  
 
#8:  Write a really good song about writing a song, then when the character who writes the song about writing the song finally writes the song he was singing about, make sure it's nowhere near as good as the song about writing it.
 
#7:  Killing off the most beloved characters (At least by you) and then bringing them back at the end is a sure fire way to win the audiences leave the theatre in tears and immediately buy 30 dollor collector magazines and 40 dollar t-shirts.
 
#6:  Your characters must be in  3-D.  They must all be dying, on drugs, or a dick.
 
#5:  is alive
 
#4:  Two words:  Stevie Wonder
 
#3:  Three words:  lesbians, lesbians, lesbians
 
#2:  Keep Andrew Lloyd Webber the hell away from you
 
 
AND THE NUMBER ONE WAY TO MAKE SURE YOUR MUSICAL IS A SUCCESS (EVEN IF IT'S NOT THAT GOOD)
 
Die before it opens
 
 
 
Mike:(English accent) You thought you were safe.  You thought that maybe we had just vanished or been shot in the head by Christine Howey for the sake of legitimate critics everywhere.  
 
Ike:(Southern accent)  Jesus, woman, even we wouldn't do that many bad pee puns.
 
M:  You were so wrong.
 
EVIL LAUGHTER
 
I:  So we're not tellin' em the comp was broken?
 
M:  Shut up.




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<DIV>
<DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial><STRONG>WARNING:   TICK TICK BOOM IS A MUCH BETTER SHOW</STRONG></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=center><FONT face=Arial size=4><STRONG>    MIKE AND IKE PRESENT</STRONG></FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=center><FONT face=Arial><STRONG>THE TOP TEN WAYS TO MAKE SURE</STRONG></FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=center><FONT face=Arial><STRONG>YOUR MUSICAL IS A SUCCESS</STRONG></FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=center><FONT face=Arial size=2><STRONG>(EVEN IF IT'S NOT THAT GOOD)</STRONG></FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=center><FONT face=Arial size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=left><FONT face=Arial size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=left><FONT face=Arial size=2><STRONG>DRUMROLL</STRONG></FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=left><FONT face=Arial size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=left><FONT face=Arial size=2>#10:   Instead of creating a truly original piece, find a work that is already considered "classic" and steal--I mean, adapt it.  Andrew Lloyd Weber has built a career on this.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=left><FONT face=Arial size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=left><FONT face=Arial size=2>#9:  Populate your cast with young, vibrant singers and dancers.  People who can act should be doing Neil Simon.  </FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=left><FONT face=Arial size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=left><FONT face=Arial size=2>#8:  Write a really good song about writing a song, then when the character who writes the song about writing the song finally writes the song he was singing about, make sure it's nowhere near as good as the song about writing it.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=left><FONT face=Arial size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=left><FONT face=Arial size=2>#7:  Killing off the most beloved characters (At least by you) and then bringing them back at the end is a sure fire way to win the audiences leave the theatre in tears and immediately buy 30 dollor collector magazines and 40 dollar t-shirts.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=left><FONT face=Arial size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=left><FONT face=Arial size=2>#6:  </FONT><FONT face=Arial size=2>Your characters must be in  3-D.  They must all be dying, on drugs, or a dick.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=left><FONT face=Arial size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=left><FONT face=Arial size=2>#5:  is alive</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=left><FONT face=Arial size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=left><FONT face=Arial size=2>#4:  Two words:  Stevie Wonder</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=left><FONT face=Arial size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=left><FONT face=Arial size=2>#3:  Three words:  lesbians, lesbians, lesbians</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=left><FONT face=Arial size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=left><FONT face=Arial size=2>#2:  Keep Andrew Lloyd Webber the hell away from you</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=left><FONT face=Arial size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=left><FONT face=Arial size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=left><FONT face=Arial>AND THE NUMBER ONE WAY TO MAKE SURE YOUR MUSICAL IS A SUCCESS <FONT size=2>(EVEN IF IT'S NOT THAT GOOD)</FONT></FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=left> </DIV>
<DIV align=left>Die before it opens</DIV>
<DIV align=left> </DIV>
<DIV align=left> </DIV>
<DIV align=left> </DIV>
<DIV align=left>Mike:(English accent) You thought you were safe.  You thought that maybe we had just vanished or been shot in the head by Christine Howey for the sake of legitimate critics everywhere.  </DIV>
<DIV align=left> </DIV>
<DIV align=left>Ike:(Southern accent)  Jesus, woman, even <EM>we</EM> wouldn't do that many bad pee puns.</DIV>
<DIV align=left> </DIV>
<DIV align=left>M:  You were so wrong.</DIV>
<DIV align=left> </DIV>
<DIV align=left>EVIL LAUGHTER</DIV>
<DIV align=left> </DIV>
<DIV align=left>I:  So we're not tellin' em the comp was broken?</DIV>
<DIV align=left> </DIV>
<DIV align=left>M:  Shut up.</DIV></DIV></DIV><p><hr SIZE=1>
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