[NEohioPAL]All Hail Film Czar and Film Prophet

Bill cinevid at yahoo.com
Thu Nov 24 00:57:18 PST 2005


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All Hail Film Czar and Film Prophet
   
  You know, most of the time I sit with calm amusement as I read the various ramblings as to why Cleveland isn't 'on the map' when it comes to motion picture film and TV production. However, these latest posts are just too funny to ignore... A self proclaimed Film Czar? What the hell is that? Alex, I thought you were joking! And Christopher, you seem to have so much intelligence and yet you completely miss the point.
   
  Ya wanna know the reason why we can't all just get along and make movies together? Well here it is. There's too much crap!!! And widely varying degrees of crap. One of the only reasons our monthly Indieclub meetings are successful is because we're not trying to create a consortium; we're not trying to unite our resources, we're not even trying to improve eachother's work. We're just watching videos. And guess what? We see a lot of crap. We see some good stuff too, but mostly we see Learners, Yearners and Burners.
   
  Now, Learners are novice filmmakers who make crap because it's their first film and rather than learn the trade first, they go ahead and make a movie as practice and hopefully they'll improve. We sit politely and smile, wishing they had thought about lighting, sound, acting, dialogue, and camera work before making us sit through their experiments.
   
  Yearners are filmmakers who really want to make good films, so they use everything at their disposal to make the best possible film they can. However, they're still somewhat plagued by compromise and the results are never what they hoped for, nor what a real distributor will buy. Much easier to sit through though.
   
  Burners are the worst. These are filmmakers (usually prolific) who make crap every time out of the gate. Their camera work is mostly hand-hell shaky cam. Their lighting is barely more than ambient and they often use the on-camera mic to capture dialogue. The acting is wooden and undirected; the stories are either so deep you need waders, or so shallow you can't find a point; and to top it off, they're fully convinced they are great filmmakers. 
   
  But why do I call them Burners you ask? Well, because they burn the bridges that sincere Yearners might someday want to use. They burn bridges with actors who get soured against indie filmmakers because they have nothing decent to show for all their hard work (not even copy). They burn bridges with locations because they are so unorganized that they overstay their welcomes, mess up property and never send copies of the video, like they promise to do. They burn bridges with investors because the investor never sees a dime of their money back. They burn bridges with the legitimate film commission, because, as I said before they make crap and what film commission is going to support and encourage more crap???
   
  Yet that's not the reason why we don't need a film czar or film prophet or any other coordinating force. The real reason is no one wants to work on someone else's film. You see, most of the people that comprise the indie scene here in Cleveland are writer/producer/directors and we're all working on our own projects. And guess what. I'm not all that interested in spending my valuable time working on someone's project which I consider to be crappier than my own. I can just as easily be spending my time and resources creating my own crap.
   
  Sure everyone would like to think there's a benevolent brotherhood of filmmakers; a selfless society where everyone submits ideas and work samples and then the members vote on what script to do and who to direct it. The community is presented with the proposal and since it bears the backing of so many filmmakers, the businesses get involved and support the project with services and finances. The best actors come from all around to have a part in the project and a glorious motion picture is produced that wins the Oscar for Impossible Dream... 
   
  That would be a good plot for a fantasy picture, but in the real world, writers will lose interest if their script isn't picked. Directors will bail if they can't direct and actors will walk away if they can't be the lead. And you guessed it the end product would probably be... well, I don't need to say it again. (though I really want to)
   
  Bill Johns
  crappy writer/producer/and director
  www.cinevidproductions.com
   
  P.S - I guess I'm in a sour mood because just yesterday I lost a serious investor (producer of two features in LA) because she said the acting in one of the scenes I sent her wasn't very good. I knew it when I shot it that I was compromising, and even though we're reshooting that scene, it's too late to regain that contact... ah CRAP!

		
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<div><FONT face="comic sans ms" color=#ff0000 size=5><STRONG><EM>All Hail Film Czar and Film Prophet</EM></STRONG></FONT></div>  <div> </div>  <div>You know, most of the time I sit with calm amusement as I read the various ramblings as to why Cleveland isn't 'on the map' when it comes to motion picture film and TV production. However, these latest posts are just too funny to ignore... A self proclaimed Film Czar? What the hell is that? Alex, I thought you were joking! And Christopher, you seem to have so much intelligence and yet you completely miss the point.</div>  <div> </div>  <div>Ya wanna know the reason why we can't all just get along and make movies together? Well here it is. There's too much crap!!! And widely varying degrees of crap. One of the only reasons our monthly Indieclub meetings are successful is because we're not trying to create a consortium; we're not trying to unite our resources, we're not even trying to improve eachother's work. We're just
 watching videos. And guess what? We see a lot of crap. We see some good stuff too, but mostly we see Learners, Yearners and Burners.</div>  <div> </div>  <div>Now, <STRONG>Learners</STRONG> are novice filmmakers who make crap because it's their first film and rather than learn the trade first, they go ahead and make a movie as practice and hopefully they'll improve. We sit politely and smile, wishing they had thought about lighting, sound, acting, dialogue, and camera work before making us sit through their experiments.</div>  <div> </div>  <div><STRONG>Yearners</STRONG> are filmmakers who really want to make good films, so they use everything at their disposal to make the best possible film they can. However, they're still somewhat plagued by compromise and the results are never what they hoped for, nor what a real distributor will buy. Much easier to sit through though.</div>  <div> </div>  <div><STRONG>Burners</STRONG> are the worst. These are filmmakers (usually
 prolific) who make crap every time out of the gate. Their camera work is mostly hand-hell shaky cam. Their lighting is barely more than ambient and they often use the on-camera mic to capture dialogue. The acting is wooden and undirected; the stories are either so deep you need waders, or so shallow you can't find a point; and to top it off, they're fully convinced they are great filmmakers. </div>  <div> </div>  <div>But why do I call them Burners you ask? Well, because they burn the bridges that sincere Yearners might someday want to use. They burn bridges with actors who get soured against indie filmmakers because they have nothing decent to show for all their hard work (not even copy). They burn bridges with locations because they are so unorganized that they overstay their welcomes, mess up property and never send copies of the video, like they promise to do. They burn bridges with investors because the investor never sees a dime of their money back. They burn bridges
 with the legitimate film commission, because, as I said before they make crap and what film commission is going to support and encourage more crap???</div>  <div> </div>  <div>Yet that's not the reason why we don't need a film czar or film prophet or any other coordinating force. The real reason is no one wants to work on someone else's film. You see, most of the people that comprise the indie scene here in Cleveland are writer/producer/directors and we're all working on our own projects. And guess what. I'm not all that interested in spending my valuable time working on someone's project which I consider to be crappier than my own. I can just as easily be spending my time and resources creating my own crap.</div>  <div> </div>  <div>Sure everyone would like to think there's a benevolent brotherhood of filmmakers; a selfless society where everyone submits ideas and work samples and then the members vote on what script to do and who to direct it. The community is
 presented with the proposal and since it bears the backing of so many filmmakers, the businesses get involved and support the project with services and finances. The best actors come from all around to have a part in the project and a glorious motion picture is produced that wins the Oscar for Impossible Dream... </div>  <div> </div>  <div>That would be a good plot for a fantasy picture, but in the real world, writers will lose interest if their script isn't picked. Directors will bail if they can't direct and actors will walk away if they can't be the lead. And you guessed it the end product would probably be... well, I don't need to say it again. (though I really want to)</div>  <div> </div>  <div><FONT face="comic sans ms" size=4>Bill Johns</FONT></div>  <div><FONT face="comic sans ms" size=4>crappy writer/producer/and director</FONT></div>  <div><A href="http://www.cinevidproductions.com"><FONT face="comic sans ms"
 size=4>www.cinevidproductions.com</FONT></A></div>  <div> </div>  <div>P.S - I guess I'm in a sour mood because just yesterday I lost a serious investor (producer of two features in LA) because she said the acting in one of the scenes I sent her wasn't very good. I knew it when I shot it that I was compromising, and even though we're reshooting that scene, it's too late to regain that contact... ah CRAP!</div><p>
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