[NEohioPAL] Jean-Claude The Gumming Zombie Review

[bmstroud1 at aol.com]

Review:
Jean Claude The Gumming
"Vampire" would
have made a much better film, both for irony, comedy and relevance. Having a
withered old blood-sucker way past his prime trying to make it back into the
biz raise his cape above his head, stalk behind his prey with hypnotic eyes,
quoting, in that signature voice, "I want to suck your blood." In one
foul swoop he buries his head in the neck of his victim, only managing to give
severe hickeys. Throughout the movie he schemes all sorts of ways to draw
blood, even by purchasing fake plastic Halloween teeth. OK, maybe it won't win
Sundance, but at least my film has a plot. 



Synopsis:
"When a toothless Frenchman finds himself the latest victim of a zombie
plague, he is befriended by an overly-wholesome family that belongs more in a
1950s sitcom than the world of today.(Except that Father’s hobby is black magic
rather than golf, and Granny has a thing for guys from “the continent”, even if
they’re not quite among the living…) Half pet, half best friend for young
Timmy, and all dead, Jean Claude proves that you don’t have to have brains to
eat them. Or something." 



Now, critics, movie-goers, you can decide for yourself what you think about
this plot, but personally I just don't understand it. Let me start from
the top:

1. Is it really necessary to say that the Frenchman is toothless? The
title is called Jean Claude (French name) The Gumming (meaning no teeth)
Zombie. 

2. The synopsis sa
ys that the family that befriends Jean Claude is
"overly-wholesome," when, not only is that not the case. The
family in the film actually manages to underplay the wholesomeness of a 1950's
sitcom family. 

3. Perhaps the bit in parenthesis that mentions how the father has an
interest in black magic could have stepped up to become the plot, but instead
it remains a footnote to some sort of back-story we never really get to hear
more about. Why does he wear a necklace with virgins blood? Where did he get
it? How? There are more questions to be asked then are actually answered. 

4. Director Wu's synopsis sounds more like a run-on tagline for the
film, giving some unclear tidbits of character traits, like how he adds the
grandmother (who plays the most insignificant role in the film) into the plot
summary? Mr. Wu only seems to have a half-hour comedy of sub-plots.

5. "Half pet, half best friend" -- Am I the only one who finds
this sentence silly? I won't bother to elaborate.



Acting--


Jean Claude-- Why is Jean Claude French? Is there any relevance? It
seems more distracting to me that he is both French, uneccasarily, and a
zombie. It is too much, and the focus on Jean being the central character
becomes lost. Claude has overproduced, superficial character development; with
a terrible accent.

Father-- The father's monotone and lackluster
performance is nothing reminiscent of 50's Ward Cleaver that I think he is
trying to portray. And while partially makes the character his own, it=2
0becomes
so boring and unbearable to listen to that it gives me nightmares of my old
10th grade history teacher lecturing about the Cold War. And this actor is too
young for the role!

Timmy-- If I close my eyes while watching the film, which I wanted to, I
can understand why Johnny cast this boy for the role of Timmy--his voice. He
sounded like he came straight from a 50's sitcom, like Beaver Cleaver meets
Leroy Jetson; an innocent, scratchy, theatrical-like charm. However, it seems
he was not very good at staying in character (I'm surprised the director did
not catch that).

Grandma-- Mildly humorous, only if provided with the right camera
close-ups.

Stain-Out Salesman-- Was sincerely the funniest part about the whole
film. I'd like to see more of him in the future. Though I'm sure he received
little direction from Wu, he managed to steal the show, at least for me. 



Directing--
Nearly non-existent. Mr. Wu
makes no real attempt at creating his own unique visionary style and gives
shotty direction to his actors. There is simply no flow from frame to frame,
nor any fluency with the actors' movements. 



Visual Effects-- I thought
the part where the Gumming Zombie removes his hat at the dinner table was neat,
and the effects used to show his bleeding brain looked realistic. Otherwise,
this production looked like a live-action Paint Shop Pro. 



Sound Effects-- The sound effects
were so fake and overproduced, unless they were going for a 50's sitcom meets
B-Movie, that it distrac
ted me from the parts in which they played. They were
so clearly done outside of the film that they could not have possibly passed
for actually being in the action inside the film.



Music-- I must say I am
personally annoyed about the "original score" during the end credits.
Tales from the Crypt meets a rip off of Danny Elfman's Beetlejuice score; a
blatantly obvious rip off. Don't believe me? Watch the end credits of Jean
Claude and then check out this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oFAfiLA97mM -- It's OK to be inspired by Tim
Burton's films, but please don't re-produce his work.



Screenplay-- Recycled
plot-points, familiar dialogue, there was nothing original about this movie
except for the title. The screenplay was a hybrid between Edward Scissorhands
and a bad Mel Brooks movie. The jokes that did exist weren't even milked to
their highest potential, mostly because of how they were delivered. The
one to two minute "exposition" lays hardly nothing out about what we
are about to see and certainly foreshadows or sets up any sort of mood/tone.



Costumes/Make-Up-- The only
impressive feat about this film was Jean Claude's make-up. Good work!








This entire film proves that you
don't have to have brains to make a film, or something.








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